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Up Topic Communities / Women / Life, & Other Things That Are Not Fair (late September NRR)
- - By swandive [us] Date 2018-09-20 6:49 AM
Surely we can manage two NRR threads in a month.  We need to keep Zipper entertained.
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-09-20 6:56 AM
The rest of the family is going on vacation.  I am hanging out at the hospital (outpatient) with A.  This is most definitely not fair.  : pbbt: China sis and her family (BIL and three nieces) are going to visit my oldest sister at the beach.  Mom and Dad are heading to the mountains for the weekend.  I guess at least the house will be quiet for once.
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-09-20 8:34 AM
Nope, not fair.  Do your parents go to Georgia mountains or Tennessee?  My DH wants to start looking somewhere around there for a mountain retreat (land only or maybe a small cabin depending on price.)
Parent - By swandive [us] Date 2018-09-20 9:04 AM
For short getaways they go to North Georgia.  When I was growing up we went to Gatlinburg a lot.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-09-20 9:19 AM
not fair at all.

When they return - will you take your own break? :hug:  The old "put your oxygen mask on first" thing is important. :hug:
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-09-20 3:45 PM
Not fair. I hope you can get away for a concert or two.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-09-22 9:42 PM
Definitely not fair -- both for you and for A. Hope this stays outpatient.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-09-23 8:08 PM
Not fair, hope you get a vacation too.
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-09-20 8:38 AM
DH is in San Diego for a work trip (has been there almost 2 weeks.)  The weather is cooler, esp at night, but still 80s during the day.  He's right on the water and gets to run by it, and he went to the San Diego zoo.  Meanwhile, I'm at home doing all my normal stuff plus some of his stuff (being the pool boy for instance!!!!)  I've had to take DS2 to all of DS1's stuff which is so not fun.  When DH is here, he keeps him probably 75% of the time which is much better considering DS1 goes about 6 hours/week to appointments.
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-09-20 9:07 AM
That's a lot for you to do on top of just the standard single parenting gig.  When will DH be home?
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-09-20 9:52 AM
Sunday night about the boys' bedtime.  I must say that two weeks is way better than a year though : pbbt:.

ETA - And I can watch whatever junk TV I want at night when he's gone!!!
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-09-25 9:01 AM
junk TV without judgment is a nice perk
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-09-20 3:47 PM
Appointments can be draining, especially on top of chores.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-09-22 9:43 PM
It is warm in southern CA but SD is probably more temperate than LA.

Hope you will get a break when he gets back!
Parent - - By judyruns Date 2018-09-20 4:54 PM
Swannie, how are you weathering the hurricane? I think I knew you evacuated.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-21 7:41 PM
Not evacuated, though one of my sisters and her DH were, so they came for an unplanned visit.  I'm actually far enough away from the hurricane path that we got barely any rain and it is still dreadfully dry here.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-09-24 4:11 PM
Random question: does anyone have board games they like?  For adults, preferably ones that can be played by two people but can also be played by multiple people if you happen to have friends over.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-09-24 6:19 PM
We like Phase 10, not board but a card game.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-25 7:24 AM
Card games work, too. :happy:
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-09-24 6:38 PM
Sharp Shooters and Sorry are good.  Monopoly leads to divorce!  Organ Attack is fun.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-25 7:22 AM
Organ Attack is an awesome game. :laugh:
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-09-24 7:36 PM
Well, since you I've played & enjoyed:

Ticket to Ride  (also the variants, Europe, Marklin, etc)
7 Wonders
Camel Up & the expansion
Power Grid
Codenames (only :meh: with two people, though)
King of Tokyo

There are tons, but you might want to browse here to narrow down choices  :wink:  

For random groups of people with not a lot of setup/prep, it's good to have Apples to Apples on hand.
For random groups of obnoxious people who aren't offended by anything vulgar, Cards Against Humanity.... I'm told there are "clean" versions of this, too.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-25 7:21 AM
Thanks!  I've played some of those games, but a lot of them are new to me.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-25 9:08 AM
We have codenames duo, which is designed for two and can be played by more.  I love codenames!
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-09-25 6:41 PM
I haven't played that one.  I did find that the phone app for codenames made the whole handing back and forth the map card much easier
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-26 9:01 AM
Why do you hand the map card back and forth?  When we play the regular one with two people, we are competing against an invisible player who guesses one right each round.
Parent - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-09-26 6:05 PM
With a larger group, you end up with two teams.  it's not always convenient to have the two code givers move next to each other when you have 5-8 per team.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-10-02 11:17 PM
I didn't know there WAS a clean version of COH...but that is a great deal of fun for random groups.
Parent - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-10-04 8:23 AM
Known variants that are cleaner:

Kinder Perfect
Not Parent Approved
Cards against profanity
Kids create absurdity
Kids against maturity
SICK -slightly inappropriate cards for kids (teen version, slightly edgy)

As with anything, YMMV, my definition of cleaner is not your definition
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-09-24 8:34 PM
Pandemic is an interesting twist (although not great with 2 people).  You work as a team to defeat the spread of an infectious disease.  Perhaps a bit geeky.  Huh, who could have seen that coming from me?  Querkle is fun.  Dominos?
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-25 7:17 AM
Pandemic is a great game, but it is better with more people.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-09-25 9:05 AM
Got my cheap glasses from Zenni optical yesterday and I am a fan! I really like 1 pair and the other pair is decent just not my favorite out of the 2. I can't imagine needing glasses again for a while but I'd definitely order from them again.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-25 9:09 AM
Parent - By elmtree Date 2018-09-25 4:15 PM
Oh good!!!  :cool:
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 9:26 AM
These are prescription glasses?
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-09-26 10:38 AM
yep! Got the prescription from my eye Dr and then just put in the info online and picked out my frames.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 9:39 AM
Hello! Happy hump day! Checking in. It's been an uneventful week. Sleeping lots. Leg feels pretty decent, all things considered. Pain level is quite low. My ankle (there was a high ankle sprain when the knee was injured) has been much more painful than my knee, but it's easing up as the swelling in my leg has subsided.

T-Bone has been taking great care of me. I spent the first several days in a Percocet haze, but have been gradually feeling more alert. Haven't needed crutches or a walker for the last two days, though my stamina for walking is very minimal. I sit most of the time. But I've been feeling a bit more energetic each day and it feels like the healing is proceeding as it should.

I have a big treat to look forward to this week: I am picking up a new car on Saturday. :grin: And then will watch it sitting in the garage for the next four weeks until I am actually cleared to start driving again. : pbbt::laugh: Dammit. But car!! (It's red.)
Parent - - By judyruns Date 2018-09-26 9:51 AM
Until you can actually do certain exercises, have you thought about visualizing? My yoga instructor swears by it. I haven't tried it but I keep forgetting. :roll:: pbbt: From a medical standpoint (which I do not have), do you think it would ever help?
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 1:27 PM
I had not even thought of visualizing.

Could it help? I would think so, yes. You would essentially be strengthening a neural pathway in your brain for doing the exercise...and when you start moving your muscles and physically trying it, you would probably have a head start in developing the kinesthetic connection. Just a guess.

For what it's worth, when I was first learning to roll a kayak, it's an incredibly disorienting experience at first because your horizon is the surface of the water, and you are rotating around that horizon. Meanwhile, your paddle only hits resistance when it is in water. When you are underwater, upside-down, you have to change your paddle stroke so it skims over the surface of the water before pulling downward. I had to lie down and visualize where the horizon and the paddle and my body were relative to each other before I could successfully roll the kayak in practice. Once I had the orientation visualized, I was able to do the paddle stroke correctly to flip me back over.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-26 2:52 PM
I'm glad to hear that things are going well!

Oooh, congrats on the new car. :cool:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-09-27 3:15 PM
I'm glad to see pain level is low and you're well taken care of. Hooray for a new car!
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-10-02 11:18 PM
Yay new car!

And I hope this means you will be able to do some runs next spring. I still want to meet you halfway to do a race, maybe southern Utah?
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-27 4:10 PM
Talk about things that aren't fair....a friend of mine was attempting a 50 mile swim (all butterfly) yesterday and today.  28 hours and more than 35 miles in, he thought he heard his crew tell him to swim to shore.  So he did.  Thus ending the swim (by channel rules you can not touch bottom during the swim).  I'm not sure how a miscommunication like that happens, except that he hadn't slept for at least 38 hours and he did butterfly that whole time, so he probably wasn't communicating at his sharpest. He has to be SO dissapointed.  He's the same person who attempted a double crossing of Catalina, also butterfly, and stopped after one crossing.

Somehow, having friends like this, makes my accomplishments seem much more meager.  Yet, when I tell non swimmers what I do, they think I'm badass. It all depends on who you compare yourself to!
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-09-28 11:39 AM
Wow, that must be crushing. 35 miles/28 hours is an incredible accomplishment though!
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-10-01 7:19 AM
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-10-02 11:19 PM
50 miles all butterfly? Owww. My shoulders hurt just READING that.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-09-28 5:49 PM
You guys, I am gutted.  I don't know what else to say.  My favorite band has announced that they're breaking up.  Two of the four members are leaving.  Except that "favorite" doesn't begin to describe it.  Their music has been the soundtrack of my life and they're a lot of the reason I've kept choosing to stay alive.  After my friend Mike was killed, their music was one of the few things that still made sense.  When I'm at their concerts, I feel something that I don't feel anywhere else.  I love and respect those guys so much and I'm losing one of the very few places where I feel at home.  I'm really sad tonight. :sad:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-29 2:08 PM
:sad::cry: sorry that you are losing something that provided such comfort.
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-09-29 2:52 PM
:cry: I'm so sorry that this has happened. So many good things suddenly aren't there. Losses are hard to take.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-10-01 7:19 AM
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-10-01 2:12 PM
I'm sorry, swandive. :cry::hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-10-02 2:03 PM
Sorry swannie.  If they are touring in my area before they split you're welcome to come/stay.  Of course that wouldn't be much of a break from little kids for you.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-10-02 11:20 PM
I am sorry. Can you let them know how much their music means to you?

Cold comfort I know.
- - By stickywicket Date 2018-09-21 3:33 PM
Very suitable title swandive...have some shit coming our way...just confirmed the Twig will have to go through a pretty serious medical procedure in a few weeks.

Here's a question: when you wash dishes, do you fill up a bowl or the sink or do you was under running water? If in a bowl, how long do you keep the water in there? and do you also keep the sponge floating in there?
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-21 5:23 PM
Sorry that twig has to undergo something "serious".  :sad: I hope he's ok.

MCF fills the sink, and has pushed me to do that. I used to use running water. He claims this uses less water overall.  The sponge only is in the sink if I'm moving more dishes in.  And the water is drained as soon as I'm done.  So if I'm cooking dinner at the same time that could be up to 20 min.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-09-21 7:38 PM
Best wishes to Twig. :hug::hug:  And to all of you as you are probably the one who's stressed while he doesn't realize anything is wrong.

I do it with the water running.  That's the way I learned to do it, though it's worth noting that we had a dishwasher when I was growing up and both of my parents had dishwashers for the majority of their childhoods as well, so I learned with the expectation that most dishes would be rinsed and put in the dishwasher.  I've stayed with people who fill the sink to wash dishes and am okay with doing it that way.  I have no idea of one way is more effective/efficient.  I guess I generally think that filling the sink (or a washtub) might be better if you're going to leave dishes to soak or if you have a large volume of dishes to do at one time.  If I'm living by myself and washing my breakfast dishes, it hardly seems worth the effort to fill the sink just to wash a couple of dishes.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-09-21 8:20 PM
Running water. 

After meal, the dishes go immediately to the sink.  Quick rinse,'get the sponge wet.  Shut off the water.  Scrub all the dishes, put the water back on and rinse.

I've never had a dishwasher, so have always had to do by hand.   Just 3 in my family, so it's not bad.

Good luck to the twiglet, I hope it goes well and recovery is speedy.  :hug:
Parent - - By moonglow9 Date 2018-09-22 8:15 AM
Good thoughts to Twig and to you :hug:

Washing dishes: Never had a dishwasher, either as a child or now. So by hand. Wash under running water, not filling up the sink. I usually wash only a few items at a time (clean as one goes), so there is never much. I do not use a sponge, I use this rubber scrub thingy (will look for a link) and it sits in a holder up on the edge of the sink in the back with drain holes. Squirt some washing-up liquid on the scrub thingy, turn on water, swipe under water to get suds. Turn off water so the water is off whilst applying the washing-up liquid to dishes. Turn on the water, rinse dishes. Rinse scrub thingy. Take separate scrubber to scrub the sink itself. Turn off water.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-09-22 9:47 PM
DD and roommates also used the rubber scrub thingy in SD, they did not have a dishwasher.

I didn't mention that most dishes do go in the dishwasher. Washing up is for things that can't go in the DW.
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-09-22 9:17 AM
Best to Twig and family. :hug: 

I never knew there were so many variations on washing dishes.  :shocker!: We fill the sink with soapy water, wash, then rinse under running water (double sink).  Once done, water is drained and dishrag hung to dry or put in the (clothes) washing machine.  If there are lots of pans or something particularly dirty, the sink gets drained and refilled with fresh water and soap. I don't understand the running water for washing thing--don't you end up using a lot of soap?  And there isn't any soaking to loosen food particles so don't you have to scrub more aggressively?
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-09-23 3:29 PM
I would soak a cooking dish that has food stuck, but do so by filling the dish/pot and then letting it sit in the sink, not having water in the entire sink and then putting the dish/pot in. But mostly I do not have food stuck. Haven't noticed over-much usage of the washing-up liquid, it squirts onto the scrubber thingy and then suffices for the entire batch of dishes.
Parent - - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-09-23 6:48 PM
until I was married I never knew there was a wrong way to wash dishes.:meh:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-09-23 9:13 PM
Parent - By BoredTemp Date 2018-09-24 8:41 AM
:laugh: - so true.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-09-24 2:00 PM
Or fold clothes!

<-- does not do laundry anymore because DH bitched so much about how I folded things.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-09-24 4:23 PM
I'm very specific about how I think things ought to be folded. :blush:  For non-clothing items, it is mostly related to tags.  For clothing it's complicated and I wouldn't expect anyone else to be able to replicate my system.  That said, I realize that it is not normal or reasonable, so I don't complain but I quietly refold towels and rags that have been folded wrong. :blush: 

It's definitely an OCD thing, but it bothers me if towels are folded inside out and I can't begin to understand how my mother can fold towels in different ways when she's folding them one right after another.  I fold things the same every single time unless and until I find a system that works better.  To me it is sensible and easy and even calming, in a way, to create order.  I can't even comprehend not having a system.
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-09-24 5:12 PM
Folding towels is a "keeping order" or "calming" thing for me too. Always right side outside. :grin:
A running buddy of mine was a Marine in his early years. He was a very neat person about bedding, clothing, etc. even though he was really athletic. That suited the Corps perfectly and he was rewarded for it a lot. The problem is when he and his wife shop now, he tends to refold items that he sees in stores. :laugh:
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-09-24 5:48 PM
I may refold towels too.:blush::blush: I always refold things when DH or DD folds, which is why I just do it myself.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-09-25 9:28 AM
I too am very specific about how things are folded, and am fine with doing things myself all the time when others do not replicate the system. It is a quirk/insistence of mine, so I do not want to burden others with that expectation. I'll just do it.
ETA: Yes to the way towels and things should be folded.
Parent - - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-09-26 3:47 PM
please come marry my DH. He would be much happier living with you than me I am sure as he is totally OCD like this.

I'm like "whatever its clean and put away" I SWEAR he organizes things to calm himself. If it was JUST HIM and didn't leak over into me I could be ok with it, but goddammit he keeps putting away MY STUFF and it pisses me off. Its gotten worse as he has gotten older. It is very very hard to live with someone like this who always judges someone else to their standard. I am not a slob by any means. But I'm not sure I wish to live with this the rest of my life and I KNOW its gonna get real worse when he retires. God forbid....
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-09-27 9:25 AM
I also clean/tidy as a calming thing (although sometimes it becomes an insistence/problem thing). After sitting exams, for example, I'll usually have scrubbed the bath tub, all the floors by hand, clean tile grout, etc. After the bar exam, I literally came back to my flat, cleaned the bath tiles for about 1 hour, and then fell asleep right there on the floor for almost 5 hours straight.

If things are out of place, it just grates at me, it is something that has to be resolved.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-09-25 9:16 AM
I don't do laundry because MCF didn't like how I didn't separate whites and colors and would leave things in the dryer for too long.
Parent - By elmtree Date 2018-09-25 4:16 PM
I separate hardly anything clothes-wise and leave things in the dryer for a week if I feel like it! :laugh:
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-10-13 1:33 PM
:laugh: DH doesn't like my folding technique. I figure if someone's folding my clothes, I don't care how it's done. So he's the folder in the family. Unfortunately that means once every 3-4 weeks when the mountain of clothes is too big to get into the closet...
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 9:27 AM
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-09-25 9:04 AM
same, this is the only way I can imagine doing dishes. The only time I would deviate is if I just had one item to wash like a pan, then rinse it out a bit, refill with hot water + soap and wash there.
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-10-13 1:45 PM
I've never understood the reasoning for the dish soak before. After a few hours of soaking I don't want to start fishing dishes out of the cesspool. :laugh: I guess the key is to only soak for the duration of the dish washing experience?

I thought maybe it saves water - but when my MiL came to visit, our gas bill ( only used for heating water) suddenly doubled. The only thing we could figure out that was completely different was the dish washing.
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-09-22 2:16 PM
Best wishes for a great outcome to Twig's medical procedure. :hug:
Done twice: after cooking for pots, again after eating. All this is very fast washed in running water to dried and placed in cupboard in just a few minutes. Running water, soapy clean sponge, wash dish & utensils, dry, put in cupboard. Done. Only me so it's really quick. It doesn't take much water since it is at most only a pot or 2, plate, butter knife and spoon.
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-09-22 4:39 PM
Sending your family much love and strength. I use the dishwasher as much as I can. If not, I will wash dishes and pots using running water and a sponge. I change sponges often. I know they aren't the cleanest. I never leave dishes in the sink. They have to be washed right away or put in the dishwasher. I can't stand dirty dishes sitting there, but that was how I was raised. We had no dishwasher growing up and I only started using one maybe 10 years ago. I feel like the dishwasher is more sanitary, which is why I use it more.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-09-22 9:46 PM
Sorry about Twig's medical procedure, hope all goes well.

Dishes: as you know we are usually conserving water. I fill up a dishpan in the sink with warm soapy water, then rinse dishes in the other side and let the water fill up another dishpan. The rinse water goes on the garden. I can't see washing dishes under running water.

Water stays maybe an hour. When I'm cooking I usually have a pan of warm soapy water to wash as I go along. Sponge is in there while I'm washing but out once I'm finished washing up.
Parent - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-09-23 6:49 PM
Hugs and Love to your family. Medical issues with a child are the worst.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-09-23 8:10 PM
Hope all goes smoothly for Twig.

Dishes, it depends. I usually fill the sink but wash under water too. Depends on what I’m doing but will leave water for a few hours
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-09-23 8:18 PM
Sorry to hear about the upcoming procedure. Sending strong and healthy vibes your way. :hug:
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 9:31 AM
Hoping Twig comes breezes through the procedure and is just fine. :hug::hug::hug:

Re: washing dishes, if I have a very full sink load, I will fill the sink and add the soap, scrub each piece, and then put it in the other sink to be rinsed hot and put into a dish drainer, or dried with a towel, whatever is on hand.

If it's just a few pieces, or pots and pans, I'll usually wash each piece individually under running water.

Sponges and scrubbies get draped on the edge of the sink so they dry out between uses, and run through the dishwasher (or dipped in a bleach solution) periodically to cut down on bacteria. I will also wash the sink with soap and water to cut down on bacteria.
Parent - By stormcatcher (celebrate with me) Date 2018-09-29 9:13 PM
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-10-02 2:04 PM
Not sure if Twig had surgery yet or not but best of luck to all of you.  Speedy recovery for Twig.
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-10-13 1:30 PM
It's later this week, so cross fingers it all goes smoothly...
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-10-02 11:21 PM
Two dishpans -- one filled up in advance with hot soapy water, one catching the rinse water. Rinse water gets taken outside and poured on plants.
- - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-09-23 8:14 PM
We are finally in our new house! After a last minute carpet issue that delayed actually moving by a few days. Still not close to unpacked but so nice to be in our own place again. I now remember way too well why I moved away from home 20 years ago :meh:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-09-23 8:19 PM
That must feel so good! Congrats!
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-09-24 4:26 PM
Congrats on the new house!  Sorry about the delay but, in the grand scheme of things, a few days likely doesn't matter very much.

I can't remember -- were you living with family while your house was being finished?  If so, you have my sympathies.  It's hard to move back home.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-09-24 6:20 PM
Yep, just over 2 months at my parents! Ugh
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-09-25 9:28 AM
Congratulations! A big relief.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-09-26 9:40 AM
Huzzah!! Glad to hear it. Wishing you much happiness in the new place!
Up Topic Communities / Women / Life, & Other Things That Are Not Fair (late September NRR)

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