Pam, I'm sorry you are so stressed and worried.
I wish I could change it for you, you've been through and burdened too much for one person!
You are however, stronger than you know.
All I can add to the wisdom you've received, is that all of your worrrying, stress etc, doesn't change a thing. It will be what it will be. I'm not a religious person, but if you are, perhaps you should/could just let go of it and trust in what you believe? In any case, I know worrying doesn't change, or help anything, it's simply a waste of your time, energy and life. Been there.
That said, you're in my thoughts and I hope you find some peace.