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Up Topic General / Letters and Opinions / Unburden your soul here!
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- - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 1:07 PM
Confess all your sins here, my children.  I will not grant you absolution because that's not how we do things in my religion, but feel free to confess anyway. :cool:

I suppose I will start.  Generally speaking, I am not a superficial person*, but I admit to having a complete obsession with having long eye lashes and have embarked on a world wide odyssey for the perfect mascara.   One of my friends, who has amazing lashes told me she uses a product called "magnetic lashes" which are fake eyelashes that somehow connect to your eyeballs with little magnets.  I literally ran out the door and ordered them online that night, plunking down $70 :blush::blush: for the magnetic lashes.  It turns out, they are nearly impossible to put on, and once I somehow managed to wrangle them onto my eyeballs, my husband said they make me look like a prostitute**. 

*by LA standards : pbbt:

** and by his tone, i could tell he thought that was a bad thing.  :cry:

I am an idiot.  :cool:
Parent - - By The Beard (is wearing Arm Panties) [us] Date 2018-05-31 1:42 PM
F*ckin magnets, how do they work?
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 2:04 PM
:laugh::cry::cry:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 1:49 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh::cry: That is so funny!
Parent - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-05-31 1:51 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 1:55 PM
I don't know if I'm PMSing or perimenopausing or just sleep-deprived, but I feel like a bitchy emotional wreck lately. :meh:  Not NEARLY as good as gadget girl's story, but I'm afraid it's all I got. 

Also, not really a confession, but I found out this morning I have Lyme Disease and have to go on antibiotics for the next 3 weeks, at least. :cry:  I guess the confession is that I'm really freaked about this even though I'm trying not to show it.  And sort of unreasonably pissed at my better half who was suitably worried for me at first but then spent a lot of time on the car ride back from the doctor's office worrying about whether the dogs might get it. :meh::sad:
Parent - - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-05-31 1:59 PM
It is scary :sad: Do the antibiotics basically resolve it? Or does it depend individual to individual?

I'm sorry you have to go through this :hug:
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:03 PM
Assuming we've caught it in time, and as long as I take all the meds, they should resolve it.  I've read that the horrible systemic symptoms come mainly from cases that go undiagnosed.  I'm very lucky I got the bullseye rash and just happened to have a dermatologist appointment scheduled.  It's going to suck for a while, though, since I have to take the meds on an empty stomach and the doc warned they'll likely make me feel sick.
Parent - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-05-31 2:06 PM
Glad you got in fast! Best of luck to you. :hug::hug:

We were out in the woods this weekend and talked a lot about this! Scary!
Parent - - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-05-31 2:09 PM
Oh, that's good to hear. The main stories I've heard are about the people who have the systemic symptoms. I know from a nurse friend that if you find a tick within 24 hours, you don't need to get the antibiotic. They tend to still give it to shut people up even when the tick has been discovered right away.
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:12 PM
I never even saw a tick!  Apparently, a lot of Lyme is transmitted by ticks in the "nymphal" stage, when they're basically invisible.
Parent - - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-05-31 2:16 PM
Yeah. I never heard of that. :cry:

McDuff recently had two, but kitties don't get Lyme. Another way they are better than dogs  : pbbt:

Also, you should withhold a few pies from s&f : pbbt:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:24 PM
I haven't baked a pie in a long time.  Perhaps I've been falling down on the job! :wink:
Parent - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 7:16 AM
Good luck with the meds, I hope they don't wreck you too much.
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 2:05 PM
:cry::hug::hug:

sorry, I do not have any info on Lyme Disease.  I would just recommend not using Dr. google and taking a lot of probiotics to counteract the antibiotics.  :hug:

as for S&F's reaction: :laugh::cry::laugh::cry:
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:10 PM
Right?!  I was kind of incredulous at the time and didn't react properly.  "Excuse me, honey, can we just rewind this conversation back a couple of minutes and pretend you didn't just imply that you care more about your fucking dogs than your fucking wife?"  (Told ya I'm feeling bitchy!:blush:)

Do you know if there is any possibility that probiotics can dilute the effectiveness of antibiotics?  I eat yogurt as part of my breakfast every morning, but when I'm on antibiotics I always worry that the yogurt is going to hinder the antibiotics in some way ....
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 2:25 PM
re probiotics, good point!  I don't know.  Maybe ask your doctor?  All I know is whenever I take antiobiotics, I always get those unmentionable issues that go along with not having all those good microbes around.  :blush:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:58 PM
I know. :cry: Ugh, it all sucks.
Parent - - By Annie Date 2018-06-01 9:01 AM
Definitely take probiotics but don't take them within an hour of the antibiotic because they can counteract the effectiveness of the antibiotic. Also take the probiotics with a good meal.
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-01 9:51 AM
Correction - wait 2 hours between taking the antibiotic and the probiotics because the antibiotic will kill off the good bacteria in the probiotics
Parent - - By blazer85 [us] Date 2018-05-31 2:43 PM
Oh, that sucks!!!  And FWIW, blazerman would also be worried about our dogs getting it.  Our dogs. Not our kids.:meh:
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 2:58 PM
What is it with dudes and their dogs?!
Parent - - By Quagmire [us] Date 2018-06-06 6:14 PM
I can explain this for you.   S&F sees the dogs as helpless and dependent.  They stimulate the parenting instinct...which is an instinct fraught with worry as well as love.  You, on the other hand, he sees as a strong, sexy, empowered, smart and independent woman...with the means to your recovery well within your control.  You stimulate a different instinct (not to mention body part) altogether...an instinct with an entirely different kind of love and a lot less worry.

If that works for you tell S&F he owes me a beer.
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-06 7:52 PM
:laugh:
You are good.
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-07 11:24 AM
:laugh: Nice job!  He owes you a beer, for sure!
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-07 7:45 PM
:laugh: Well-articulated with some truth (tempered by sarcasm) but watch yourself. :mutmad::wink:

It's good to see you back here in any event. :cool:
Parent - By LDR (100 Mile Stud) [us] Date 2018-06-15 2:07 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-05-31 3:11 PM
Mine was diagnosed when I was preggo (hey, let's just add something else to worry about!) but the antibiotics took care of it and everything is hunky-dory now.  So stop googling worst case scenarios!  Also, around here there is a vaccine for the doggers.  I thought you were not in Lyme territory?  Is he worried that you will infect the dogs or do you take them east with you or has Lyme spread west?
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-05-31 3:13 PM
Ugh, that sounds horrible!  Glad to hear the meds worked for you, though.  I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing.

Lyme is definitely out here and has been for a while.  He's afraid the dogs will pick it up from a tick.  I'm like :roll::roll:.  I just can't worry about the dogs at the moment.
Parent - - By Schantzie [us] Date 2018-06-01 9:10 AM
Lyme Disease - ugh!  I'm sorry.  If anecdotal information helps:  one of my RP's had it long before I knew her.  She refers to it as a kind of a dark time when she felt terrible and went undiagnosed for quite a while, which is all the more surprising because she's a respiratory therapist and so, works around medical people all the time.  That said, she has recovered very well and has no lingering symptoms. She helped me get my first BQ and we ran Boston together twice :hug:   Even though her illness happened a couple of decades ago now, she is still phobic about tick exposure, and I don't blame her.  Usually I can find some way to justify little critters' place in the universe, not so much with ticks. :mutmad:

Since I live near Mexico, I picked up some doxycycline last year, and carry it with my other first aid stuff. 

My point is that although you may feel bad now, and there's a good chance the antibiotics will have nasty side effects themselves, there is reason to believe this is temporary and you should be feeling better one day soon. :hug:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-04 12:02 PM
Thanks. :hug:
Parent - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 9:54 AM
Yikes girl! Do whatever the doc says and BACK AWAY FROM DR. INTERNET. :hug:
Parent - By callie [ca] Date 2018-06-01 12:00 PM
:sad::hug:
Parent - - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:14 AM
I hope that your recovery goes well and that the antibiotics don't make your tummy go too crazy. also, I'm sure that s&f isn't more worried about the dogs than you - he just knows that you're a strong lady and will get through this, and doggos are dumb and can't tell you when something is wrong :hug:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-04 12:03 PM
You're right, and I felt bad after writing that about s&f. :blush:  And I'm slowly learning that guys' concern sometimes shows in different ways.
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 6:01 PM
I've lived in fear for decades about lyme disease running trail, and I'm sorry to hear that you got it. :cry: I hope the meds work for you, including the probiotics to keep the antibiotics from disrupting other things. You are healthy and strong, and will kick that damn tick shit! :mutmad::cool::hug:

You'll understand if I don't get in the middle of the other part of this. :wink: Just know that you have my best wishes and vibes that you win this thing as I know you will. :hug:
Parent - - By jennyO Date 2018-06-05 11:21 AM
Aw, that other thing was nothing.  He is unfailingly good to me. :happy::hug:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-05 4:52 PM
Ha I didn't word that very artfully for a wordsmith...I know that both of you will win the other thing. :hug: My last sentence had to do with the Lyme thing. :happy:
Parent - - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-05-31 1:57 PM Edited 2018-05-31 2:07 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I think the long and beautiful eyelashes are so pretty. It would be just one more maintenance thing though. Ugh!!
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 2:29 PM
my colleague at work gets the fake implanted lashes but I am too worried about somehow getting an eye infection.  I realize some may question my priorities but risking blindness doesn't seem worth it to me.  : pbbt:
Parent - By blazer85 [us] Date 2018-05-31 2:41 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Parent - By ironjen Date 2018-05-31 2:44 PM
OMG, this is hilarious. I must admit I've never heard of magnetic eyelashes. Sounds difficult.
Parent - - By elmtree Date 2018-05-31 3:46 PM
If you already have brown eyes (or a darker color or have a VERY STEADY HAND), get Latisse. 

Do not get the non-rx stuff, do not order from China, etc etc bc these are YOUR EYEBALLS

But your eyelashes will get INSANE.  Also do not get it on your eyebrows.  Or they will also be insane.
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-05-31 4:25 PM
I tried and it didn't work for me.  :cry::cry:

nice to see you here! :hug::hug:
Parent - By elmtree Date 2018-06-04 9:54 AM
Aw man!!!!!!  Booooo

:hug:
Parent - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 7:17 AM
Also do not get it on your eyebrows.  Or they will also be insane.
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Parent - - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 9:56 AM
is Latisse any less expensive than that dumb Roden & Fields stuff? I only say dumb b/c I'm a little pissed at how much it costs to look not old. :roll::laugh::cry:
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2018-06-01 10:19 AM
Did you see where R&F is getting sued due to the promises made on their lash product and how it's bad?
Parent - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 11:11 AM
Get out! No I hadn't heard....
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:47 AM
yes, I saw that.
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:53 AM
i think it is very expensive too - I got a sample from my husband (he is an eye doc) so of course it doesn't work for me.  :roll:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-06-07 9:58 PM
If you have glaucoma you can get Latisse for treating that. Eyelashes are a side effect.
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-05-31 9:21 PM
:laugh::laugh::laugh: You of course are the opposite of an idiot but yeah that borders on an idiotic thing. :wink::hug: Despite being an idiot myself, that's impossible to top but I'll confess my recent stupid self anyhow.

Two weeks ago tonight I was bit by our friends' dog on the inside of my forearm, fairly badly, but didn't get treatment or anything so our friends wouldn't get in trouble with their homeowners insurance or the authorities. Despite good cleaning and dressing, one of the punctures on the wrist got infected and two days later spread up to the elbow in the middle of the wedding reception we were at. Not wanting to die of sepsis, I found an urgent care with the aid of the groom's father (both groom and father are good friends) which was open at that hour and took my insurance. After a 2+ hour wait (Saturday night, ya know) I was given the choice of giving out identifying info for our dog-owning friends or not getting treatment. :meh: After almost walking out and some agonizing, I gave up our friends. :cry: The center assured us that our friends would not get in trouble...that the only purpose of the report to animal control required by NC law was to make sure the dog was up to date on shots. We also called our friends about the circumstances and they were ok with it. Probably because they felt as bad as we did about the whole thing. I got an an antibiotic shot and a 10 day script and my arm is almost healed and I'll be fine. But I still can't forgive myself for giving up our friends. Hopefully my medical insurance won't try to subrogate against our friends and their homeowners insurance and hopefully they won't get in trouble with animal control. If neither of those things happen, maybe I might be absolved but if not, I confess that I'm a shitty stupid friend.
Parent - - By Tommeke Date 2018-06-01 6:35 AM
Sounds serious. What type of dog?
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 5:55 PM
Alice is a completely mixed mutt, 10 years old and about 40 pounds with no recognizable breed although it looks like there might be some collie in there. She definitely doesn't have any "dangerous dog" characteristics i.e. doberman or pit etc., and is a really friendly docile dog. And it really wasn't serious except for the infection...it could have been a lot worse given that the bites missed the tendons and major vessels we have on our inner forearm.
Parent - - By runnertype [us] Date 2018-06-01 6:42 AM
I think you should definitely forgive yourself! You literally waited until it was a life and death situation before going in. Glad you're healing.:hug::hug:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 5:58 PM
Nah it wasn't life or death at least then but could have been problematic if I waited. Thanks. :hug:
Parent - - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 7:21 AM
Yes you were stupid for waiting. Glad they didn't have to amputate the arm! : pbbt: Try not to feel too bad about giving up the dog. It might be different in NC, but when my dog bit a plumber here in NJ a a few years ago, it was reported to the police, and all we had to do was quarantine Apollo for 2 weeks (we couldn't walk him, he could only go in the backyard) until it was clear that the plumber didn't have rabies or anything. I think Apollo probably has a police record now, but that's the most damage that was done (except to the plumber, ha). Try not to be too hard on yourself, you did what you had to do. :hug:
Parent - - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 4:27 PM
We are in NC. My son's laid back hound dog attacked a neighbor once - for some reason that dog thought I needed protection. The neighbor went to the doctor at my insistence and didn't have a choice about reporting the dog. The dog had to be quarantined for 2 weeks (even with up to date shots). We had our choice of the county pound or pay for our vet to board him. I was told that some people would flee with or hide the offending dog hence the required boarding.
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 6:23 PM
I remember that. I'm glad that it worked out in your case. :hug: How is he nowadays?
Parent - - By old turtle Date 2018-06-06 7:57 PM
Dang we are out of touch. Buddy passed on last August. It was a bad time for all of us.
M & H were really missing having a dog. M particularly wanted to get a puppy which was interesting since she had never lived with a dog before Buddy. They now have a wild lab puppy who might be the end of them.
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-07 7:56 PM
I'm sorry. :cry: Buddy kind of was a lodestar for Bella even though they never met and i've loved the Buddy stories over the years. And I know how much he meant to you and your family...I'm sorry. :sad::hug:

Bella is 8 years old now and in good shape, but of course we worry about what they say about bigger dogs. If you don't mind, and you can do it privately, please let me know more about Buddy's passing because I feel like I know him.
Parent - - By old turtle Date 2018-06-07 7:59 PM
Will do. Just give me a few days.
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-07 8:15 PM
ok thanks. :hug:
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 6:20 PM
Thanks. :hug: And yeah I was stupid for waiting. :blush:

If NC is the same as PA, a homeowners insurer will cancel a policy if you don't get rid of a dog which has bitten someone. I handle that kind of policy cancellation case regularly and it's really sad to see a family choose between their otherwise lovable family pet and losing the insurance on their family home. If they don't get rid of the dog and a claim has been filed (which could happen in our case if my health insurer seeks reimbursement from our friends' homeowners carrier), their home might be virtually uninsurable.
Parent - - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-04 7:43 AM
:sad: I've never heard of that, how sad!
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 4:30 PM
It really is sad. :sad: Other cases are sad in a different way e.g. if a vicious dog bites a child in the face unprovoked, sometimes with severe and permanent injury. :cry: Those cases are easy from a legal and moral standpoint, much easier than the "accident" bites by a gentle family pet.
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-04 2:11 PM
:shocker!:

I've never heard of that.  That sounds overly broad and very harsh depending on circumstances.  It seems like it would be more fair that you would waive liability coverage for future dog bite claims if you didn't get rid of the dog (and this too seems harsh but at least might make sense), but the rest of the policy including property insurance, and unrelated liability insurance should remain in effect.  

Might there be a legislative fix for this?
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 4:35 PM
Some insurers offer the homeowners an exclusion from coverage instead of getting rid of the pooch. That's pretty rare, though. I agree that is much more fair, and wish that more companies offered that.

Sure there could be a legislative fix, but getting changes to homeowners insurance laws is nearly impossible in PA, and I think most other states.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-06-05 1:05 PM
Very difficult to get changes to the laws.

We are voting for insurance commissioner today and I have heard not one word from any of the candidates about anything but health insurance. That's only part of what the Department of Insurance oversees.

I would like to see our laws changed so that earthquake insurance would be treated like flood insurance when the homeowner wants to pay the premium out of the escrow account. Lenders are required to allow mortgagors to pay homeowners insurance and flood insurance from escrow accounts but aren't required to do that for earthquake policies, which means that very few of them will allow this. It took years -- and refinancing with a loan from a credit union which has more flexibility in terms -- to be able to have the escrow account pay the earthquake insurance premiums for my house. Even though it is definitely in the lender's best interest for the house to be insured against earthquake damage!
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-05 5:06 PM
Health insurance is everything nowadays. Our state and I think most others are kind of neglecting P&C so it's even tougher to get needed changes.

Yeah you'd think that lenders, insurers and consumer groups all would be on board with escrowed payments for earthquake riders or insurance. One problem may be that it's so unpredictable with potentially massive damages, similar to a problem we have in western PA with landslide/subsidence insurance...it's impossible to gauge the risk so not many carriers offer it. We have no problem in southcentral PA with cheap subsidence riders for sinkholes etc. which are part of the premium coming from escrow. I would think that in CA, there is enough experience that even given the unpredictability and massive damages, it should be a routine form of insurance just like sinkhole insurance around here. :wtf:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-06-07 10:00 PM
Should be but it's not cheap and most people don't buy it because it's not required and it's a separate policy. Not a rider like sinkhole.

I think EQ is probably priced higher because it has the potential to cause so much damage. A sinkhole probably won't take out an entire subdivision, but a quake can damage properties for many miles around the epicenter.
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:40 AM Edited 2018-06-01 11:55 AM
wow, you take being a considerate friend to new extremes.  :shocker!:  That's probably what homeowner's insurance is for, no? 

I am glad you are okay.  :hug::hug:
I don't think you have anything to fault yourself for in terms of your friends, quite the opposite.

If everyone thought in such a  considerate manner about others (both human and canine), the world would be a much better place.  Most people are just the opposite and try to turn any accident or unfortunate situation into some sort of payday.
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 6:30 PM
Yes, homeowners covers it but see my reply to Beastie Girl above. Plus, most states have dangerous dog laws which penalize an owner both criminally and civilly once a dog is on record as having bit someone.

But thanks. :hug: And I couldn't agree more that this world needs more consideration and less selfishness, and find it hard to understand why so many peeps don't get that basic rule of humanity.
Parent - - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 11:48 AM
Dog lovers unite! :laugh: I completely relate to not wanting to rat out your friends and their pup, but ummm yeah, good call on giving in once it became a serious situation. No need to feel guilt! :hug:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 6:32 PM
:laugh: You totally understand my angst! :hug: Don't worry, the guilt will disappear after nothing bad happens as probably will be the case.
Parent - - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:15 AM
glad you finally got that looked at, even though you had to snitch on your friend's dog. I'm sure they totally understand. you are not a shitty friend.
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 4:48 PM
Thanks :hug: but I'm still thinking I should have handled it differently, such as not acknowledging initially that I knew the owners or insisting on treatment (even threatening to sue, although that goes against my nature). I felt trapped, but still feel like a shitty friend because I was selfish while giving up my innocent good friends. That will change if nothing happens from this...we'll check in with them shortly to see if they and Alice got in trouble.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:48 AM
Not a personal lines specialist however if they have homeowners insurance there is almost certainly a small amount (usually around $5,000) for medical payments. This has no or minimal deductible and does not require legal liability. Chances are your medical insurance will go for that rather than trying to claim negligence on the part of the homeowner.

Hope you feel better, next time (if there is a next time) do get it treated quickly. Better that than having the situation get worse.

And I hope your friends' insurance doesn't have a problem, but you don't want to risk your life to save your friends some trouble. It was their dog, after all. You are not a crappy friend. This is one of the things that pet owners need to consider when they decide to bring an animal into their home.
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 5:01 PM
You're maybe right on all of that. Except that at least in PA, peeps have gotten millions from dog bites from the dog owner's homeowners insurance. That's why insurance companies hate dogs. I have no idea whether my medical insurance will try to subrogate, although I suspect it's doubtful with only a $500-600 payout.

I totally get you about Alice being their dog after all (albeit inherited from their daughter). That's always a risk, and something all dog owners, including us with our gentle hound, need to consider and which we assume. But sometimes the harsh results just aren't right and this particular situation has that potential.
Parent - By Marty Moo Date 2018-06-13 9:26 AM
You have such a good heart, Jasz!
Parent - - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 7:15 AM
:laugh::laugh:

I had fake lashes for my wedding and when they fell out they looked like little fuzzy bugs all over the place. :shocker!:
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:41 AM Edited 2018-06-01 11:48 AM
:laugh:

finally someone who feels my pain : pbbt:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-02 7:50 AM
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::hug:
Parent - - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:03 AM
one of my friends goes every frickin' Thursday to have lash extensions done. and it's more than $100 a pop - she is ridiculous. but I love her, so I just hold my tongue.
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-04 1:59 PM
:shocker!::laugh::cool:
- - By sideshowbob Date 2018-05-31 9:34 PM Edited 2018-05-31 9:37 PM
I guess I thought that if you kept a healthy life style and stayed active that the aging process would be smoother and perhaps linear with time. But alas, it happens with bumps and surges. You solve one problem and one or two more show up, like playing whack-a-mole.. I 've been  asking myself when does one admit and accept the inevitably or do I keep pretending things are as they  should be.

Nothing  like a few IPAs to induce reflection. :grin:
Parent - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 11:24 AM
Getting old sucks, but IPAs help. :happy:
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:49 AM
just keep pretending.  :hug::hug:  that's probably closer to keeping up the fighting spirit. 
Sending lots of good wishes your way.  :hug::hug:
Parent - By sideshowbob Date 2018-06-01 8:16 PM
THanks
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 7:50 PM
Dunno, sideshow. But I'd suggest keep pretending since I'm happily following in your wake. :hug:
Parent - By sideshowbob Date 2018-06-01 8:20 PM Edited 2018-06-01 8:41 PM
Thanks Jasz—you always seem to know what to say
- - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 7:04 AM Edited 2018-06-01 7:29 AM
been through the ringer within the past 3 years. i could lay it all out here but don't want to get too personal. some of it is my own self, some relationship related, and some work related. regardless, there is some light at the end of the tunnel that i'm starting to see....the only way out is through.

i think of all of the above and then see in another form a social media that someone who posts here is going through something i could not even fathom on how to handle. my heart goes out to them. :hug::hug::hug::hug:
Parent - - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-06-01 7:27 AM
:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:08 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-06-01 8:06 AM
:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:09 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 8:43 AM
omg I can't imagine I literally cried this morning because of this and even my DH welled up a bit. :hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:09 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - - By Annie Date 2018-06-01 8:52 AM
It sucks that the only way out is through :hug: I so wish we could skirt around things sometimes

I cried too this morning :sad: My heart breaks for them :hug:
Parent - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-06-01 9:01 AM
Yeah :hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:09 PM
it definitely sucks. :hug::hug:
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 4:21 PM
I started crying telling my husband about it. It is just too sad.
Parent - By noel (Kilotons of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk) Date 2018-06-01 6:55 PM
Yeah :sad:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-04 3:11 PM
I didn't know until I saw this thread, had a suspicion of what you were talking about, and then searched through the trivial posts from his feed.  Now I'm crying too. :(
Parent - - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 9:27 AM
:hug::hug: glad there's some hope on the horizon. ps I'm visiting a friend in Orlando June 18-21 if y'all would like to get together for dinner or something. :grin::hug:

I woke up around 1am wide awake, so got on my phone :roll: , and saw the news. Devastating.
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 11:23 AM
PM coming :grin:
Parent - - By JimGo1 Date 2018-06-01 10:32 AM
One day at a time Adam.  I don’t know anything about you situation but hope and pray you find a way to move forward in a positive way !

Sometimes you just have to press on and have faith things will work out.
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:10 PM
pressing on is better than the alternative in my mind :hug::hug:
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:46 AM
:hug::hug::hug:
I am glad you see some light at the end of the tunnel.  I know you haven't wanted to unburden yourself here, and completely understand.  I just hope you do have some support where you can unburden. 

I don't know the situation of the other forumite.  I would be happy to do what I can to help any one of us in need of support.:hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:10 PM
I do have some support and they are probably tired of my whining. :hug::hug:
Parent - - By callie [ca] Date 2018-06-01 11:54 AM
:hug::hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:10 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 1:20 PM
:hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 4:10 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 4:30 PM
Adam, sorry about your last 3 years. hope that light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter.
Parent - By noel (Kilotons of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk) Date 2018-06-01 6:53 PM
:sad::hug:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 7:51 PM
Get through, adam...I know you will. :hug:
Parent - By tizzy319 (gaping five hole) [us] Date 2018-06-03 12:36 AM
:hug::hug::hug:

It can always be worse, but that doesn’t mean your pain and struggles aren’t real too.

I’m glad there is a light at the end of your tunnel. It gives me hope.
Parent - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:16 AM
:hug:
Parent - By Marty Moo Date 2018-06-13 9:27 AM
Wishing you all the best, Adam :hug:
- - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 8:43 AM
We put in an offer on a condo that we both really want so now I can't focus on work and I'm accomplishing nothing whilst we wait.
Parent - - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-06-01 8:48 AM
This is exciting!!! :cool::cool:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 10:26 AM
Yeah I never thought I'd be here in life haha
Parent - - By Annie Date 2018-06-01 8:50 AM
Exciting I hope you get it :grin:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 10:04 AM
Thanks the housing market here is just gross so it's like a fixer upper condo is the best we can aim for as a start but still, we loved this place!
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-01 10:11 AM
I've heard the market there is just ridiculous. A fixer-upper can be fun and you can make it what you want.
Parent - - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-06-01 9:01 AM
:happy:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 10:25 AM
:grin:
Parent - - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-01 9:27 AM
fingers crossed!
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 10:25 AM
Thanks bud!
Parent - - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-01 11:24 AM
YaY Brookie!!! :hug:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 11:30 AM
We only offered so no YaYs yet :mutmad: But thanks :happy:
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 11:47 AM
Good luck!!!  Home buying is a very stressful process so sending good wishes.  :hug:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 12:18 PM
I've been told selling is the really stressful part and buying is the fun part but you're still constantly braced for sure disappointment so it's stressful as well. : pbbt:
Parent - - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-01 12:34 PM
perhaps if you have suitcases of cash lying around, buying can be fun : pbbt:, but if there is a lender involved, buying is usually also stressful, in my personal experience.
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 12:50 PM
Yeah and if you get what you want, it's hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. :cry:
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-02 7:48 AM
But it's a good debt (I still struggle to get my brain around that concept)
Parent - - By callie [ca] Date 2018-06-01 12:00 PM
Yay!
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 12:18 PM
:happy:
Parent - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 3:43 PM
Fingers crossed! :grin:
Parent - - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 4:22 PM
That is so exciting. Hope it works for you!
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-01 5:01 PM
This is only the second place we've put an offer on and I hate this process already
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 7:38 PM
:hug:
Hang in there.
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 7:53 PM
Whoooo! Please let us know! :cool:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-02 4:30 AM
I will. :) as of now our offer expires noon today and the selling broker can't get ahold of the sellers so its not looking great.: pbbt:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-02 7:24 AM
:sad::sad:
Parent - - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:16 AM
I hope your offer gets accepted!
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-04 9:48 AM
Thanks our agent says they are going to accept but can't sign back until tonight so hopefully it all works out. Also since it's a condo it's conditional on the financial end of the management being decent but barring all that it looks like we got ourselves a big ole (1000sqft) crap hole to renovate! :grin:
Parent - - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-04 6:04 PM
WooHoo I hope it all works out! Keep us posted.:happy:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-05 6:34 AM
STILL NOT SIGNED so no, it's not working out. Thanks for caring tho :happy:
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-05 6:45 AM
:sad: Sorry to hear that. Buying a house/condo can be a frustrating experience.
Parent - - By callie [ca] Date 2018-06-05 8:16 AM
:sad:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-05 8:27 AM
Apparently they will sign tonight at 7:30 pm OMG JUST SIGN THE F*CKING THING
Parent - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-06-05 10:53 AM
fingers crossed!
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-06 4:48 PM
Really!
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-07 12:28 PM
Update: We got the signed conditional offer approved and are also approved for a mortgage from at least one broker but I'm trying to get us a better rate at a different place. I've done more paperwork in the past week than I have in my entire life. Ready to be done now!
Parent - - By The Beard (is wearing Arm Panties) [us] Date 2018-06-07 12:35 PM
But just think, when it's all over you'll get the joy of having a mortgage.:cool:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-07 12:38 PM
And then come the renos :grin::cry:
Parent - - By triplejake (The Vampire Lestat) [us] Date 2018-06-12 8:30 AM
YAY:grin:
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-12 8:36 AM
Thanks tj I got us the sweeter deal! :grin: Now to meet with a LAWYER to make it all official :cool:
Parent - - By old turtle Date 2018-06-12 3:10 PM
Love this progress report!
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2018-06-13 6:46 AM
Thanks OT we actually have to see the status certificate of the building first to make sure it's not some kind of mismanaged money pit but I called the property management company on my own just to see what they have to say about the buildings (they're a few decades old) and their response seemed pretty positive. Lots of upgrades and maintenance being done over the next couple of years with decent long term planning and enough left over in the reserves. At least that how they make it seem over the phone. Need a good lawyer to look it all over. SECOND BEST to tj, of course. : pbbt:
Parent - - By triplejake (The Vampire Lestat) [us] Date 2018-06-12 3:47 PM
Nice!  Hopefully this person will earn the honour of becoming the second-awesomest lawyer of your acquaintance.  :shocker!::wtf::hug:
Parent - - By Quagmire [us] Date 2018-06-12 5:21 PM
Im sure Jaz appreciates you putting in this plug for him.
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-12 7:49 PM
:laugh: No, but I would if it were a plug and was true.
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-13 3:00 PM
:laugh::laugh:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-12 7:45 PM
:cool:
- - By foggydoggy [us] Date 2018-06-01 1:50 PM
I hate May 31st.  Yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of my wife Nedra's death.  Yes, life goes on and changes in many unexpected ways, but I've come to understand the difference between the terms healed and cured.  Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it seems a lifetime away.  But I'm thankful for the 22 years together that I was blessed with and I'm a better person for them.
Parent - By cowboyjunkie Date 2018-06-01 1:56 PM
:hug: sorry foggydoggy. you're spot on with your observations/experience.
Parent - By Beastie Girl [us] Date 2018-06-01 3:42 PM
:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-06-01 4:00 PM
:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-01 4:23 PM
:hug:
Parent - By LDR (100 Mile Stud) [us] Date 2018-06-01 5:07 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - By jaszflamus (I like wool!) Date 2018-06-01 7:54 PM
:hug:
Parent - By sideshowbob Date 2018-06-02 7:29 AM
:hug:
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-02 7:49 AM
:hug::hug:
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-02 7:52 AM
:hug:
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-02 4:59 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - - By tizzy319 (gaping five hole) [us] Date 2018-06-02 11:59 PM
You aren’t the only one that hates that day. It’s literally the worst day of my life.
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-04 5:08 PM
:sad::hug::hug: I have no words.  Just :hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By noel (Kilotons of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk) Date 2018-06-06 10:57 AM
:sad::hug::hug:
Parent - By JimGo1 Date 2018-06-03 4:43 PM
:hug:
Parent - By brneydrnnr (barney cougar) [us] Date 2018-06-04 8:16 AM
:hug:
Parent - By jennyO Date 2018-06-04 5:08 PM
:hug::hug:
Parent - By sunshine (bisexual philanderess) [us] Date 2018-06-07 9:48 AM
:hug:
- - By tizzy319 (gaping five hole) [us] Date 2018-06-03 12:30 AM
My wife and I have shared some of this story on Facebook, but not all of it.

Last year in May she miscarried on the Friday before Mother’s Day. Then that Monday we go into the docs office (we had gone thru IVF), and her hormone levels are rising still. So we have another appt for that Wednesday. We go in and they find a heartbeat. 8 hours later she experiences a full miscarriage. We still have no clue if it was twins, Baby was hiding, or what happened. This was at 7 weeks.

This year on May 7th our dog gets loose and she falls chasing him. She’s 22 1/2 weeks pregnant. So we call the on call doc and she gives a bunch of signs but none of them happen. My wife made an appt with her OB anyways and so the next night we go to the doc. Her blood pressure is sky high (I think it was 185/130 (at 200 you generally suffer a stroke or seizure). So we go to the hospital to get checked out. Diagnosed with severe pre-eclampsia and told she is staying in the hospital until she delivers (due date was Sept 7th). The next morning we get an ultra-sound and baby is small and there’s not much fluid (but from every test still doing good). So we are in the hospital (the only night I didn’t spend was the Royal Wedding where her mom and sister stayed although at 5 am I get a call from my wife about her BP being super high). So there are a couple freak outs but nothing too bad. May 23 we have another ultra-sound and baby really hasn’t grown. So they suggest delivering (24 weeks 5 days) since the real worry at that point is if she continues to carry we will have a still born. So we go thru delivery. Hear a baby cry and gets whisked away. I get to see baby for a second (wife doesn’t) and then while they are finishing closing my wife up I go to tell our families (I had been texting but still not good enough). Bc I left the operating room I wasn’t allowed back in. But overhear someone say “we can’t get her intestines back in”.  So they ended up putting her fully under after the epidural was wearing off. That night we get to see baby (for about a minute) then taken to a different floor for recovery (my wife at this point has to do her 3rd magnesium drip. Which is 24 hours). Baby is seemingly doing ok in the NICU. We do have 1 3 am phone call from them when she couldn’t breathe and her lungs collapsed. But things are looking ok (as ok as they can be for someone that young). Wife is released from hospital. We are home. But basically still living at the hospital since we have 24 hour visiting rights. May 31 I’m at work and get a call to come since they think her lungs have permanent damage. Get to hospital (about an hour drive from work) freaking out thinking I’m not going to see my daughter before she dies. She’s ok for an hour or two then it all goes to hell. Finally the doc says to my wife “I’m going to let you hold her and she’s gojng to die in your arms.”  She lived long enough for both of us and our sisters and parents to hold her before she died.

Now we are planning a funeral. Turns out some cemeteries have special sections for preemies and they are as playful as a preemie cemetary can be (pinwheels by the graves. Some are decorated with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc). Needless to say we are going to bury our daughter before we even bought her crib (we were going to order it and then all this happened). The funeral will be small (family only) on Friday.

It’s hell. I never knew one could love so much someone they had known for only 9 days.

Needless to say we are both in pretty bad shape. Today we tried to be as normal as possible and saw a movie (Book Club, was hilarious) and both of us had times where we were sobbing uncontrollably. Better then we were the day before, but still far from good. We both are at the point where we are likely giving up on having our own natural children which isn’t something we ever wanted to do. I don’t know if we will adopt, foster, or never parent again.

People have been incredibly supportive (except oddly enough my wife’s boss, which since we work in social service makes no sense). As to what you can do for us. Hug your kid(s). Love them. Get to do the things I can’t like take your kid to the zoo. Or even change their diaper. You’re incredibly lucky.
Parent - By adamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.) Date 2018-06-03 7:12 AM
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-06-03 7:24 AM
Tizzy I'm so sorry for you and your wife's loss.  :hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By insistor (needs a bigger dick) Date 2018-06-03 8:09 AM
I'm very sorry and am thinking of you and your wife. Love to you both :hug::hug:
Parent - By callie [ca] Date 2018-06-03 8:34 AM
I’m so very sorry and DH and I have been thinking of you all weekend. :sad::hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By Annie Date 2018-06-03 8:42 AM
:hug:  You have both been through so much I am so sorry for your losses :hug:
The decisions of not being able to have biological children and then to adopt or not are very difficult and grief filled. I wish you both the best whatever you decide :hug:
Parent - By old turtle Date 2018-06-03 8:49 AM
While I had seen part of the story on FB this tells a lot more. I am so sorry for you and your wife's loss. I wish I could come up with the right thing to say but I am at a loss for words that could start to address the loss of your young, beautiful much loved daughter. May you and M feel the love and support of friends to help you with this unbelievable painful loss. Love to you and all your family.
Parent - By sideshowbob Date 2018-06-03 9:06 AM
My condolences . God bless
Parent - By blazer85 [us] Date 2018-06-03 1:15 PM
:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By JimGo1 Date 2018-06-03 4:43 PM
Sorry tizzy that's a tough thing to have to experience.   Thoughts are with you guys and will definitely give the kids a hug !
Parent - By redraider0528 (Fashionista) Date 2018-06-03 4:45 PM
Tizzy, I am so very sorry. Much love and prayers to you and your wife :hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By gadget girl Date 2018-06-03 5:37 PM
:sad::hug::hug::hug:

deepest condolences to you and your wife.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-06-03 6:42 PM
There aren't words or prayers enough.  I am so very sorry for your loss.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-06-03 9:52 PM
I am so, so sorry for both of you. Thinking of you and praying for you.
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