2018-05-16 7:13 AM
A few years ago I competed in a kayak race. Now my results have been invalidated because I was wearing a banned Viking helmet. The helmet itself isn’t a performance enhancing device, but it’s banned because it sometimes leads to the looting and plundering of coastal villages, which in turn causes a performance-enhancing surge of adrenaline and testosterone. It also looks like I’m suspended from racing for the next 80 days.
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