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Up Topic Communities / Women / May we have a May NRR thread
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- - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-02 8:13 AM
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-02 10:58 AM
Anyone ever buy glasses from America's Best? I need a new pair and I don't want to get them from my regular eye Dr. since it will cost a ton more. I'd just like a cheap emergency pair. This place has a really good deal but almost seems too good to be true.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-02 10:59 AM
I have some from zenni optical. Love them as a cheap backup pair. I think they were $18 or something.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-02 11:02 AM
you have to first get a prescription though, right? I don't have a current glasses prescription and I need to save my vision insurance benefits for contacts/exam this summer
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-02 10:04 PM
You don't need  written prescription, you just enter it yourself. So I you know what you need it works well.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-03 7:14 AM
oh interesting!  I don't know what my prescription is any more but good to know for later on
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-02 7:26 PM
I haven't but know others who had good luck with them.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-02 7:25 PM
I was interviewed on the news today for work as an expert on stuff. :shocker!: So happy for good editors.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-03 7:14 AM
Parent - By swandive [us] Date 2018-05-03 8:03 AM
Cool! :cool:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-04 2:53 AM
Parent - - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-05-03 3:54 PM
Once again I'm back in job market, my job just became unbearable and on top of that the travel was not what I desired to do so we parted ways. Its summer here and I have quite a few plans with Gavin in June and July for Scout Camp and vacations so I won't want to start a job until first of August. But I wouldn't mind working the weeks I'm not traveling and he's in camp. Do places even hire temps week to week anymore that are not physical labor jobs? Obviously I can't get a "summer job" cause I'm out for 3 weeks.

I'm considering offering services to walk dogs or water plants while people are gone on vacation when I'm here. Is that weird? I will be BORED if I'm not working some.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-03 6:53 PM
It seems that people ought to hire temps, especially in the summertime.
Parent - By stormcatcher (celebrate with me) Date 2018-05-04 8:06 AM
Locally, we have lots of temp agencies and companies that hire summer staff. Hope you find something you like.
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-04 8:44 AM
Does your area/neighborhood use NextDoor?  If so, there are always people around here offering services like you are saying or asking for someone to pet sit, check in on house, etc while they are on vacation.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-03 6:52 PM
May is off to a smashing start.  A is going to be in the hospital for 8 days, optimistically, (Monday discharge is the best case scenario) to treat an infection that could be serious, but spending this long inpatient is almost entirely a matter of the way hospitals work. :meh:  It's a day to get a bed one place, another day's wait to get on the schedule for another service, a 48-hour wait for cultures, then waiting a weekend because interventional radiology only does emergency cases on the weekend...  I get that this is the way it is, but it's frustrating that at least 50% of the time is useless (expensive) time spent waiting around doing nothing. {sigh}  I'm also hella tired because I spent the night at the hospital last night and at least tried to sleep from 2:30 - 6:00 in a terribly uncomfortable recliner.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-04 2:58 AM
:sad: They can't give you anything better to sleep on? When I stayed overnight with mom, they just rolled an extra bed in. Made all the difference.
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-04 3:13 AM
Aw man. Sorry :sad:
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-04 4:47 AM
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-05-04 5:50 AM
Im so sorry you and A are going through this. The health care system is beyond frustrating, never mind the already existing struggle of feeling unwell to start with and being exhausted. When I was in hospital for 2 weeks straight last summer we felt so fortunate that the hospital was family/support driven so all rooms were private and came with a regular real full bed for a loved one to stay with the patient the whole time if desired. Without that and the ability to bring food, clothing, etc. it would have been horribly hard. I really think more facilities should recognise the strain anstay takes on family/friends too, and the role they can play on helping the patient get better.
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2018-05-04 8:21 AM
Ugh, I'm sorry. That sounds really rough, for A and for you.
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-04 8:44 AM
I'm sorry for A and you.  Hope she's in for the shorter length of time.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-04 8:22 PM
:sad: I'm sorry you and A are dealing with this
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-05 9:37 PM
Isn't she more vulnerable to an infection when she's in the hospital just because of all the germs floating around?
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-06 12:51 PM
Yes, hospital-acquired infections are definitely a risk, but the logistics of treating this infection means that she has to be in the hospital for treatment...
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-04 7:21 AM
Facebook reminded me that 9 years ago today we met for an FE in Pittsburgh!! I can't believe it has been that long, and I miss the fourmites who aren't posting anymore gut are in the photo.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-05 9:37 PM
I know. I miss them too.

Did you see PTRunner did Boston? :grin:
Parent - By runnertype [us] Date 2018-05-08 7:33 AM
I can't believe it was that long ago!! Wow. :hug:
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-04 7:30 PM
Catching up a little. Typing is hard; I have a broken little finger and keyboarding is just a little...meh. So bear with me.

Lots going on.
-Working on getting my right leg working properly, since it threw a fit that the left leg had been getting ALL the attention lately. (Right leg has some old injury complications to deal with).
-T-bone's dad is in hospice and expected to die pretty soon. We are dealing okay with that, since this has been a long time coming.
-The smiting society harassment stuff has started up again, but we think we have stopped it, hopefully permanently. If it happens again, we have legal grounds now to sue the guy's ass off.
-Family stuff is quiet. Stopping contact with them was absolutely the right decision.

Counseling is going well. I am doing EMDR therapy for the PTSD and assorted family traumas. It is seriously exhausting each time we have a session, but the exhaustion is one sign that the brain is working hard to reprocess stuff. I feel super-calm afterward, like a zombie zoned on antidepressants, but will also cry at the drop of a hat. And I need a lot of extra sleep afterward. It is not unlike the day after running a marathon.

Spring here has been beautiful and the weather is really bipolar, but I am enjoying it. I intend to grow tomatoes this year even if I have to make an indoor greenhouse...: pbbt:
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-05 9:40 PM
How did you break that finger? Smiting?

Good luck with the legs evening out. Sorry about T-bone's dad. Glad your family decision was the right one.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-06 10:59 AM
Yeah, smiting. Lost my shield and had a sword hit my hand before I could get out of the way. Not serious; more annoying.
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-05-06 11:23 AM
Sorry about the little finger. Ouchie! :hug:
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-07 6:02 AM
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-06 12:52 PM
Sorry about the broken finger. :sad:  It does sound like you have been busy!
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-08 4:33 PM
This is sort of RR, but would likely get lost on a daily thread and doesn't deserve its own thread. : pbbt:  Does anyone have a good stretching routine/website/YouTube video?

I've always been naturally fairly stretchy without trying, but over time I've noticed especially the back of my legs and my back have gotten to feeling more and more tight and achy.  I mean, if my lower back isn't overly angry I can stand with straight legs and easily put my palms flat on the floor, but my back is always feeling at least halfway knotted up and my hamstrings and calves feel generally tight most of the time.  I know some stretches (but mostly don't do them :blush:) so I probably need some kind of routine I can incorporate into my day.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-10 2:17 PM
House is cleaner and more organized than I have seen it in 12 years! :laugh: It's amazing what trying to impress others and convince them to buy your house does to your motivation. Listing pictures done this morning, house will be officially listed in a day or 2. Still waiting on permits for our build, everything is backed up due too our crazy winter. I kind of feel like we are in a holding pattern right now and everything is out of our control. A little anxiety producing when you're a control freak.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-10 4:15 PM
So are you selling before you are done with the build?  Where will you live in between?
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-10 6:26 PM
Probably will end up selling first. Market is great right now and we don't want to miss that if something changes. We are trying to time it so only 1-2 months living with my parents.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-11 7:28 AM
when is your build supposed to be done?
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-11 6:55 PM
September or October is the estimate
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-10 4:19 PM
Interview question. I have an interview for an executive level position next week. I currently have purple streaks in my hair. I'm not going to dye over them, but am trying to figure out to what extent it matters that I downplay them.  I can do a bun or french twist that will pull all my hair back and downplay them (though they will still be seen on the side of my head, just not around my face). Or if I leave my hair down or do a half up-do, the streaks will be very obvious.  Do you think it matters? Remember, this is Seattle, so there is a bit more flexibility in fashion than there might be in say, NYC or the other Washington.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-05-10 4:34 PM
If it will be a problem in the interview and you mask it, will it then be a problem if you get the offer?  :wtf:

I'd just wear whatever style I'm confident in.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-10 5:30 PM
I think it is like a tattoo or piercing other than ear. No one here cares as both are very typical, but are they what you want as your first impression? I know a lot of people who would cover a tattoo for an interview, but have no problem showing it in every day work.

Perhaps that answers my question. An updo will also keep me from playing with my hair during the interview.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-10 6:28 PM
This. I always cover tattoos for interviews but will show once working. Same with hair I had purple streaks in past and acceptable but I'd downplay at an interview.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-11 7:28 AM
sounds like a good plan
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-12 3:56 AM
Purple streaks, how cool! I would love that. :grin: I don't know if it matters, things are different here of course although my current workplace is more conservative than most.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-11 9:23 AM
Mother's Day is coming up. Sigh. I need a blanket fort.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-11 1:01 PM
you can come visit me - there's a place by me with a cool indoor kid playspace and part of it is a giant area with blanket forts that kids can build and rearrange (not sure if this will lead to the pic but HERE)
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-12 5:27 PM
That. Is. Awesome.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-11 1:55 PM
:hug::hug:  Have things improved at all between you and Ratbag?
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-12 5:28 PM
I am writing him weekly. He doesn't write back. That's all I know.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-12 7:23 PM
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-13 5:52 AM
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-14 7:02 AM
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-14 7:48 PM
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-14 10:00 PM
He may not write back however I am betting he reads your letters and would not want you to stop.

Hang in there. It's a difficult age even without all the other complications. This too shall pass.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-11 6:54 PM
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-11 10:40 PM
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-12 3:57 AM
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-05-12 3:06 PM
:sad::hug::hug:  Do something special just for you.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-12 4:36 AM
So proud of my little runner. She had school track and field day yesterday and was so excited about the 50 yard dash and "distance run" (~ 1/4 mile). She was first girl in both events. After she finished the distance run she went back and ran with and encouraged the other kids who were having a tough time. :hug: :happy: I had a few teachers come up asking if she was my kid and saying what a great runner she is and how she loves encouraging the other girls to keep running and telling them how much fun running is.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-12 8:57 AM
That is awesome!  Congrats to DD for her wins and for being a good sport. :hug:
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-05-12 2:00 PM
Congrats to your little runner! She is blossoming into a great example of good health practices for other kids. :hug::cool:
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-05-12 3:05 PM
What a sweetheart!  :hug:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-14 11:40 AM
That's really sweet that she encourages the other girls. She must have picked that up from you! :cool:
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-14 11:24 AM
I could use some positive forum vibes! I had my first mammogram on Friday and ended up getting a biopsy due to suspicious calcification. I know most biopsies are benign and I think mine will be, too, but my stomach is still in knots with the waiting.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-14 12:39 PM
hoping you get good results soon. :hug:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-14 2:11 PM
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-14 12:41 PM

I hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about.
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-14 2:11 PM
Thank you!
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-14 1:21 PM
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-14 2:11 PM
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-14 3:01 PM
:hug::hug: Yeah, most are benign, that doesn't mean they aren't stressful.  take care of yourself.
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-05-14 3:58 PM
Thinking of you.:hug:
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-14 4:11 PM
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-14 7:49 PM
Hope you get good results quickly
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-14 10:01 PM
Positive thoughts for you. The waiting is very scary.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-15 7:41 AM
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-15 8:09 AM
Positive vibes for you:hug:
Parent - - By elmtree Date 2018-05-15 10:33 AM
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-16 11:31 AM
Thanks, all, for the good vibes! :hug::hug:

I'm supposed to leave Saturday for a three week work trip. The uncertainty of whether or not I should book my flights is adding to the stress!
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-16 12:14 PM
Just book them. Rebooking or canceling is not hard to do. Plus, you don't want to plan for the worst, you want to plan for the best. :hug:
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-16 12:21 PM
We're only allowed to book non-refundable. Right now I'm booking but have 24 hours to cancel.
Parent - - By elmtree Date 2018-05-16 12:37 PM
I'd talk to HR and explain why you need to book refundable.  If they balk, ask for it in writing and make sure they'd eat the money if you need to not go.

Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-16 12:48 PM
I'm in a finance/compliance position so I understand the rules and limitations pretty well. It's actually not the booking itself that is most stressful. It's more the stress of maintaining the mindset that I will be leaving the country on Saturday for an intense three weeks of work while also thinking through a backup option if I have to send someone in my place. The trip is related to a grant application so it's time sensitive/deadline driven.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-17 11:30 AM
Do you know when you will get your results?
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-17 5:13 PM
I got them today - just in time to cancel my trip. :sad:

I’m really lucky though. It was caught super early (non-invasive/stage 0)  just because of something benign on the other side. If my doctor hadn’t been overly cautious, it could have been a while before it was caught.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-17 6:21 PM
Oh geez. :sad:  Definitely not the news you were hoping for, but I'm glad that you and your doctor were vigilant.  What does the treatment involve?
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-17 6:46 PM
I won't know until I meet with the breast surgeon next week. From what I've read it will either be a lumpectomy and radiation or a mastectomy. No chemo since it isn't invasive.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-17 7:53 PM
Either possible route must feel rather overwhelming.  I don't have anything really smart or comforting to offer, but I'll be thinking about you. :hug:
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-05-18 5:41 AM
Yes, this. Sending lots of hugs. :hug:
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-05-22 4:48 PM
This. Sending hugs too.:hug:
Parent - By skigirl Date 2018-05-17 9:39 PM
:hug::hug::hug:  Please keep us posted - if you feel like sharing, of course.
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-18 2:10 AM
:hug::hug: I was pretty much in your shoes about 8 months ago, right down to the work trip. It's surreal and scary, and the waiting sucks the worst. But it sounds like you are in good hands. :hug::hug: Have you had the genetic testing?
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-18 8:58 AM
:hug::hug: Did everything end up okay for you?

I haven't had any genetic testing yet.
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-18 11:58 AM
Well...I'm 7 months pregnant...not sure how you define that outcome. : pbbt:
My advice is stay off the internet. As tempting as it is to research, don't. There is really nothing to be gained. Your docs will give you the info you need which will be unique to you.
Happy to listen or talk more if you want. On here or pm/email. :hug:
Parent - - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-18 12:30 PM
That is not an outcome I'd welcome. :laugh::hug::hug:

I have probably already done more Internet reading than recommended. :blush:
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-18 4:52 PM
I can certainly recommend a few methods to avoid that result. :blush:

Stay off The Internet. Talk to humans (I'm including us virtual runango peeps in this), distract yourself with nice things as much as you can. Next week probably seems like a world away. :hug::hug:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-19 3:21 AM
DeCode in Iceland is now offering women to check on the BRAC (?) gene. They already have a couple of samples from me for other research (endometriosis and cancer) so I've ordered a screening. My sister has had it done and she didn't have it luckily. I'm hoping this will save a lot of women from cancer.
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-18 12:33 PM
I'm sorry for the news.  Hope the meeting with the surgeon goes well.  My sister's was a little further along but did mastectomy and radiation followed by reconstruction.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-18 1:10 PM
Feel free to ask me anything. I previously work with a breast surgeon and did a lot of pre and post surgery visits in our clinic and inpatient.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-17 6:43 PM
that sounds exceedingly annoying, but like you have a great prognosis.

wishing you speedy treatment and recovery. :hug:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-17 6:46 PM
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-17 7:18 PM
I'm sorry :sad: but sounds like good prognosis and glad it was caught early.
Parent - By skigirl Date 2018-05-17 9:38 PM
:hug::hug::hug:  I'm sorry for this result but it's better to know, I guess, than not to know.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-17 10:03 PM
:sad:sorry to hear that. Thinking of you!
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-05-18 6:53 AM
:cry::hug::hug:  Oh, no!  I'm sorry you are going through this.  I'm glad they got it so early, though.
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2018-05-18 7:11 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this news. But I'm so glad you caught this so early and that you can move forward as quickly as possible with managing the condition. Hugs.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-18 7:30 AM
:hug: Stay strong.
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-05-18 9:05 AM
:hug::hug::hug:  This is never fun.  Know that you have a group of peeps here to support you.
Parent - By elmtree Date 2018-05-18 10:57 AM
I'm sorry to hear this but glad your doctor was cautious.  Sending love to you.  :hug:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-18 9:22 PM
Sorry to hear this news, however glad that it was caught. Sounds like the prognosis is good. I agree with others -- stay away from Dr. Google!

Hugs, support, and prayers being sent for you.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-19 3:18 AM
Sorry to hear that, but at least it was caught early. Best of luck with this. :hug:
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-23 4:41 AM
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-14 3:03 PM
My parents gave MCF and I a surprising and very generous gift this weekend.  We now have the cash to
- pay down 10% of our remaining mortgage
- go to New Zealand for three weeks and still have some left over
- put a down payment on a vacation cabin
- buy most of a new car or used RV
- pay for most of a kitchen remodel

What would you do with extra money?
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-05-14 4:11 PM
I would put it in the lad's college fund and/or our retirement. 

Among your choices, I would toss that into the mortgage unless the need for a car was urgent (but since you write "new car or used RV" I am guessing that is not the case).  Alternatively, I would consider splitting it up and putting half into savings/mortgage and half into your other, more fun, choices.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 9:58 AM
Putting it all toward the mortgage would pay it off 2 years earlier, BUT our interest rate is so low that it is probably not worth it, unless it is worth it emotionally. We bought the house in October of '10 with very good credit. Every time we try to refinance, the banks just laugh at us, as we will never get a better deal.  So although it sounds like good financial sense to pay off the mortgage, I'm not sure it is. 

My car is a 2005 with 135k on it.  So not urgent, but not far off either.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-14 5:32 PM
my first instinct is to invest for retirement

second would be pay it toward mortgage

but I'm uber conservative.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-14 6:46 PM
Thrifty pal! :grin:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 9:59 AM
I feel like our retirement portfolios are in good shape, although they could always be in better shape.  I'm not sure how one figures out this matrix.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-14 5:47 PM
How generous of your parents!  All of those are good options and I could see arguments for any of them.  I think it comes down to what will be the most useful/enjoyable option for you.  Certainly paying down your mortgage is sensible (and boring : pbbt:) and will save you money on interest in the long term, but there's also an argument to be made for doing enjoyable things (like something vacation-related) now and not just continually putting them off.  I know the kitchen remodel is something that is important to you and also something you'd enjoy having done and certainly the sooner you do it, the longer you'll have to enjoy it.  It is also possible that you don't have to do just one of the things.  You could, for example, pay 5% of your remaining mortgage and put the remainder toward a NZ vacation.  I guess overall I'd say to do something that will make you think fondly of your parents, whether it be "hey, my parents bought this kitchen" or if it's thinking of your parents every time you remember your NZ vacation.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 10:59 AM
We could probably go halvsies on a vacation and the mortgage, so we've been talking about that. I think I'll probably push for the kitchen. It will improve the use value of the house as well as the resale value so would be a win win.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-05-15 1:04 PM
Agree half or 2/3-1/3 on kitchen and vacation makes sense. Some fun stuff now, and investment in the house for your own enjoyment as well as resale value.
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-05-14 7:00 PM
My immediate instinct would be to squirrel it all away for the future, by putting it in retirement savings or paying down the mortgage.  On the other hand, one never knows what the future may bring, and there is definitely an argument to be made for "seize the day" and enjoy life right here and now. 

So, if it were me, I guess the first decision my husband and I would make is what proportion of the money we'd like to use for the present and what proportion for the future.  Decisions about spending the money allocated for the present would be pretty easy - I'd make an argument for a family trip to the UK to do more hiking on the public trails there, since all three of us loved the trip we did in 2016, but New Zealand would work too - and for decisions about spending the money allocated to the future, I might opt to seek out a financial planner and get some advice on what would be the most advantageous way to use the funds (that is, what is the maximum long-term benefit of paying down the mortgage versus contributing to retirement savings).
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-14 7:28 PM
side tangent - how does one find/choose a financial planner?  I have need of one, but a terrible fear of getting someone who is just going to put it into what makes the most money for them....: pbbt:
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 6:27 AM
word of mouth - ask friends or family members.

It also depends on how hands on/off you want to be. I prefer hands off so I went with Fidelity (my parents had used them too) and pretty much just put $$ in and leave it. They ask if I want meetings and to discuss goals and stuff but right now I don't. My H "has a guy" and they talk multiple times a year and sometimes he will be like oh this new blah blah blah is available, I think it would be good for you, do you want me to move X into it. I have the suspicion this guy is of the "what makes the most money for him" variety but so far I think he's done fine and my H likes him so I think it works out.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-15 12:05 PM
Find someone that works on a fee basis, not a percentage.

Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 11:01 AM
We've been looking into financial planners and so far the ones we've talked to all want you to have a million networth with at least 250k to invest.  We just aren't there. I would rather find someone who we pay to make recommendations for us, rather than someone who gets a cut of sales. I just have not figured out even what such a person is called.
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-05-15 11:12 AM

> a million networth with at least 250k to invest

Yikes.  I don't myself have a financial planner but I tend to assume that other people do (other people who are doing a better job of adulting than I am).  I have some money set aside but it's not very sensibly invested.  But I struggle with the same issues BoredTemp raised - how do you know if you have someone good, or someone who's just out to make money off you?
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-15 11:49 AM
I will say that I am not in the financial planning field but here are a few of my thoughts on it.

First off, I'd personally make sure I max out my 401K before really investing on my own.  If this is reebs and HCF territory (or anyone else's) well then move onto financially planning w/ other assets.

It does seem true that access to a lot of portfolios require 100K, 200K, or 300K (some more) or you can't "invest" in it.  I'd say most anyone in this type of business (or car sales, or realtors, or anything) obviously want to make money off of you.  Pretty sure that is almost everyone's motivation in that field (because hey they want to make money and earn a living too.)  The difference is like with any other job.  Some people are more motivated, driven, have better access to funds, more/better educated, etc.  I think most people should be able to review the data on the how things are invested and look at the history of rate of return, etc. There are options of investing without a planner such as if you are able to get an IRA (traditional or ROTH.)  Again, I really don't know all the ins and outs but for the most part you tell the planner just like with the 401K - I'm more/less risk adverse, I'm this age and want to retire at this age, do you plan to take any of the money out or use it in next year, two years...,  and that all will change how money is invested.  You can compare like others on how fees look - so if one comapany charges 1% and another 2% - what are you getting extra out of it (I'm just picking easy, whole numbers for my example).  Most planners should give you options and basically some sort of presentation tailored to you based on your input.  And if somethign sounds too good to be true I'd really, really question it.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 12:38 PM
your paragraph is basically what I do with my Fidelity account. I'm all in Retirement funds since I don't want to manage anything. They also have more specific management you can get into if you choose although I tried it for a year or two and got killed on short term gains taxes and it made me mad so I went back to retirement date funds :laugh:
Parent - - By Nomad Date 2018-05-15 12:51 PM
This is what I've been following since arriving in the frozen north, and I have to say I'm happy. Like SRoo I want to find a fixed fee planner rather than % (which I had issues with in the UK) but haven't found anyone yet except someone in Calgary who I might contact after I get PR.
Parent - By skigirl Date 2018-05-15 1:00 PM
Calgary?  <perks up>  Can you PM me that info when you get a minute?
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-15 2:18 PM
I'm not sure where to reply, so take this as a general comment rather than a specific response. 

Many retirement funds have things known as Lifecycle Portfolios that automatically rebalance your portfolio according to your projected age of retirement.  If you want more risk, you can choose retirement date farther away and if you want to focus on wealth maintenance rather than accumulation, you pick a closer date.

For non-retirement investments, you could copy what the lifecycle is doing with whatever company you are using.  I use mostly index funds because I don't enjoy researching and selling and buying and thinking about money.  My husband does, so he takes a more active role.

We do not have a financial advisor, but our retirement plan through our employers offer some individual counseling.  I used that years ago when I started my current post and found it helpful.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-15 4:06 PM
A fee-only financial planner.

You might ask at the bank or credit union where you have your mortgage, or ask the person who does your taxes (if that isn't you).
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-15 8:30 PM
alas, no mortgage and thus I do my own taxes.  :laugh:

I max out my 401K, as does my hubby.  We have a kid and her 529 is very comfortable, she will be fine.


I never want her to have to worry about us.  Long term care insurance sounds like crap (see the articles today about premiums jumping 70%) and who knows what the future brings.   Will I ever feel comfortable enough to do something other than invest for the possible rainy day?

just musing...
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-16 4:17 AM
Do you have an article to point to on LTC? I just googled to read about it but I'm not getting any recent hits.

I'm just curious because when I do Medicare presentations for clients I have a short slide about LTC (just letting people know that if you need custodial care it would be covered under LTC not Medicare) so I'm curious to read about massive premium jumps but my google search is coming up empty.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-16 10:20 AM

MassMutual Seeks to Raise Long-Term-Care Insurance Rates
Insurer wants to raise rates by 77% on average for about 54,000 policyholders
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-18 9:28 PM
LTC is either skyrocketing in premium or not available at all anymore.

When insurers started offering it they didn't have enough underwriting information to hang their hats on, now it appears they underestimated both life expectancies and length of time that LTC would be needed.

So many people don't realize that Medicare only pays for 100 days of nursing home care and only after hospitalization. Medicaid (Medi-Cal in my state) is what picks up after that and only after the recipient has spent down his/her assets.

In short, LTC is not a great place to put your money, what you think you're buying is probably not what you're going to get.

This is going to sound awful, but I am relieved that DH only lived 5 months after going into hospice. We could not have afforded an extended stay in a facility and I'm not sure how much longer DS, my mother, and I could have lasted caring for him at home.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-21 7:41 AM
interesting. Why is LTC not a good place to put your money? I thought the whole point is that it is covering the custodial care that you can't get through Medicare even at a nursing home. TBH I don't touch LTC with a 10 foot pole but we've had a request for info on it so I include a couple slides in my Medicare presentations as food for thought.
Parent - - By BoredTemp Date 2018-05-21 8:13 AM
apparently they jack up the rates once you start approaching the age you would need it, plus it's looking like the companies may discontinue it.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-21 8:29 AM
Yea I knew about rates increasing as you get older, but she made it sound like coverage isn't what you think (or maybe that is what I inferred). In my presentations I'm usually like yea it is probably too late for you guys to get this but just in case :laugh:
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-21 9:14 AM
As I understand it (with the caveat that I am not a life and health specialist) LTC is not likely to be able to pay what they were originally selling, and in addition the rates are skyrocketing. Because it was a new product underwriting data was not in existence, much of the rating was best guess and judgment, and what was predicted isn't what is actually happening.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-21 9:59 AM
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-18 9:29 PM
I will see what I can find, however if you would like a copy of that bestselling volume "CPCU 556: Personal Financial Planning" I can send you one. : pbbt:
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 6:32 AM
I'm the super boring kind and I'd just put it in my bank account/investment account while secretly wishing I would do something fun with it. From your list, I'd love to choose the NZ trip and then put any leftover towards extra on the mortgage or saving for the kitchen remodel.

I think it depends on what you need or want the most, and what on the list you wouldn't otherwise be able to do without this. Also was there anything they mentioned with the $$ - as in was it given for you to do something fun with, or more under the guise of we know the kids could use some extra money for expenses so here is some for each. My H's dad did that last year, it was more because his step siblings apparently needed money so they gave each kid $$. I wanted to do something fun with it, or at least part, but H ended up using it to pay himself back from having to do some expensive car repairs.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 11:03 AM
The card attached specifically said "dad says spend it wisely, mom says use it for fun". :laugh: And my parents truly give gifts like this with no strings attached. It is one of the wonderful things about them. :hug: When I talked to mom about it, she said that it would be our money in the future anyway (inheritance), and they'd rather see us enjoy it now.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 12:35 PM
Parent - - By moonglow9 Date 2018-05-15 1:06 PM
When I talked to mom about it, she said that it would be our money in the future anyway (inheritance), and they'd rather see us enjoy it now.

My mum has often said similarly when we discuss these things. She would rather (after providing for her own retirement etc) focus on seeing the enjoyment now rather than the inheritance. We're both fine with her affairs coming out straight even with nothing owed, all her debts and expenses provided for, and the balance of the money spent on herself and extras as gifts during her lifetime.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 2:43 PM
Yeah, I've told my parents to spend it all if they want. It isn't mine to count on and I'm doing just fine.  They do take a big international trip about every 18 months and enjoy the trips a lot.  And they saved very very hard when we were young so they could enjoy retirement like this.  At the same time I get that they'd rather see us enjoy the money and leave us with nothing than leave us with stuff they don't get to see us enjoy!  I appreciate the gifts when they come.  This is the second time in my marriage that they've done this. The first time we used it for our emergency savings and retirement. We are a bit more stable now, so using it for fun or the kitchen is more appealing.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-05-15 4:47 PM
Yes, very much understand - I've told my mum that I truly don't want or expect anything, now or later, but she genuinely wants to do things for me from time to time, and I'm trying to be okay with it, telling myself that as it is hers, it is her choice to give and makes her happy. Very true about appreciating it, and so nice of them to do this for you and YCF. In a way, the kitchen is both fun to have now and an investment in the long-term value of your home.
Parent - - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-15 7:43 AM
I would use half of it to do something fun now, like go on a trip and half of it for something sensible, like paying down your mortgage. I would never spend it on a car, to me that's a bad investment. How generous of your parents, have fun with it!
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 11:04 AM
The trip/mortgage is the one way to easily split it.  Or trip/retirement if we think we can get a better rate of return on that.  Otherwise, something like a car would use all of it (plus some of our own savings if we bought new).
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-15 8:15 AM
I'd probably never do the mortgage thing unless you had a high interest rate.  You'd be better investing the money.

The rest is personal preference/priority.

If you hate your kitchen but prepare most meals at home and enjoy entertaining I'd go for the kitchen.

If you want to do a lot of weekend trips to same place, I'd do vacation cabin.  If you prefer camping in new places, I'd go for an RV.  Do you have any plans to RV/travel around a lot during summes or retire early to do it?  I probably would skip the new car unless mine was on last legs.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 11:09 AM
We've been talking for about two years about wanting either a vacation cabin or an RV. We can't entirely decide which. MCF has some of his own savings he's thinking of spending on a cabin, so with this, we could do a good down payment. The advantage of a cabin is that it is easier to spend Shabbat at a cabin than it is in an RV.

And I do HATE my kitchen and we do tons of entertaining.

We have a very low interest rate. Our mortgage is basically as close to a free loan as you can get.  That's why the early payoff isn't as high a priority.  Our current rate of pay (we overpay a bit every month) has us paying it off when MCF is 60.  If we added this, and kept our overpay, we would pay it off when he's 58.  That doesn't seem like enough of a difference to me, as far as use value of the money now.  It is unlikely we will retire before I'm 60 (i'm the younger one). And he's talked about wanting to keep clients well into his 70s if he can (he thinks the old therapists he meets are really cool!)
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-15 11:51 AM
With such a low rate and considering you've paid the big bulk of interest if you've had the loan since 2010, nope doesn't seem the best financial sense. 

Would you rent out the cabin or just use it yourself?
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 12:39 PM
Based on this additional mortgage info I would not put this $$ towards mortgage since it really isn't getting you that much of a break.
Parent - - By Nomad Date 2018-05-15 12:55 PM
My financial advisors have always recommended against paying down a mortgage so long as it's a capital repayment - for exactly the reasons you state. You should be able to do better investing it and paying off the mortgage early when you get to retirement.  The exception is if your mortgage is interest-only, which obviously yours isn't if you have a repayment date.  My interest-only mortgage I am paying down 10% per year (max allowed) but that's on the basis that when it's paid off it'll be sold to enable purchase of a retirement place in BC
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-05-15 1:01 PM
So you're basically paying rent in Sedona, on the assumption that the value of the place will increase enough that you'll still clear a profit when you sell, enough to finance another place?  Sounds smart. 

I didn't know you were aiming for permanent residency here - very cool!  :cool:
Parent - By Nomad Date 2018-05-16 9:39 AM
Actually London. Sedona has no mortgage because prices are silly there (from a Londoner's perspective). One of my London properties is capital repayment & is planned to be my pension, the other is interest-only with the rent paying the mortgage and annual paydown with the intent to sell when I buy in Canada.  When I started renting it out they were offering a deal on interest-only mortgages (definitely not doing that any more!) and I knew I'd be able to put lump sums in so it made sense.

Got my invitation to apply last week; two documents still needed of which one is on the way & one has been sent for revision (bloody Angolans don't know the difference between UK and Ireland), and my medical is on Friday. So with any luck my application goes in on Monday and I just sit & wait for up to 6 months :shocker!:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-15 4:12 PM
If you hate your kitchen, then I'd say that's the best thing to do with the money -- put it into a kitchen that will make you happy. How much time do you spend in your kitchen each year? Probably more than you would spend at a vacation cabin or in an RV. Especially since you entertain a lot.

My hesitation about vacation cabins is that you are then locked into going to the same place all the time. Unless you want to go to the same spot every time you go on vacation, it would probably be better to rent a cabin or other dwelling for vacation. Also if you are renting you can change the size of the rental depending on how many people are joining you. I get it about a cabin being easier for Shabbat than an RV, but you may decide a few years down the road that you don't want to go to a particular vacation spot one more time.
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-05-15 12:11 PM
How generous!  This is a great problem to have.  I think you should rank things and list pros and cons and then go with your gut. 

Since you say you will only save 2 years on mortgage, don't do that.  Plus, then the money is tied up and you can't get to it in the future.  You could invest it in liquid assets and have more towards retirement; and that will help it grow as well.  Even as we are facing retirement in less than 2 years, we are not advised to pay down our mortgage faster.

Kitchen is a great choice and yes, the sooner the better for remodeling.  Don't make the mistake of remodeling right before moving! 

Looks like you are torn between RVing or owning a vacation cabin.  My sister informs me that some people rent a house for 6 months in retirement instead of buying somewhere else.  Then you can see if you really love the place during those 6 months.  We are renting an RV next month to see if that is something we might want to do in retirement.  Apparently retirement decisions can be more short term as well; what you are doing for the next few years instead of trying to plan out the next 30 years.

A new car is good, and if you choose wisely it will last you for a long time.  New Zealand would be great as well; experiences last forever (or until your memory goes).
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 2:47 PM
Since I'm pretty sure this is the only house I will ever own, I doubt that I'll remodel before moving (since that "Move" will be to a plot 6 feet under). But the use value of a great kitchen is high, and after doing our bathroom this winter I can see how much we'd love a good kitchen.  My use enjoyment of the bathroom is high too!

I do like the idea of "trying on" a vacation home, or RV.  We did our first RV rental trip last fall with Escape Camper Vans and had a really good time. It did make us think we'd like that way of traveling now and in the future.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-17 3:54 AM
That's a good way to check out a new place befor retiring there. And I agree with what you say about experiences, nobody and nothing can take that away from you! I'm so glad I've travelled so much, there are trips that I wouldn't like to do now because they were physically hard at the time.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-14 7:57 PM
T-Bone's dad died on Saturday, just before we could get out to visit him one last time. He's doing pretty okay with it, but one of his sisters is being really nasty about estate stuff.

We also had a recurrence of the harassment from the guy out here who was stalking and harassing us last fall. It's mostly settled, but we just found out he got banned from participating in another medieval group because he was stalking and sexually harassing members, both inside and out of the group in regular life activities. Which now establishes that this guy has a pattern, and a problem. F*cker.

I am feeling really down today. Sick of people being nasty. Sick of being on the injured-reserve list. Angry at people who have trespassed. A whole welter of feelings. And also just plain tired and feeling like the therapy and counseling have me in a phase where I am less able to focus or function than before. I really just want to go live my life and feel sort of normal again.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-14 10:03 PM
:hug: I am sorry for your loss.

This guy needs to be prosecuted if he has a pattern of hateful and illegal activities.

Sorry you are feeling down. If I could, I would ship 5 6-week-old kittens for you to sit on the ground and snuggle with. They are at the adorably cute "tennis ball with paws" stage, big round kitten tummies and little ears and paws. And very loud voices. : pbbt:
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-15 5:31 AM
Oh dear - I read that you were going to send Zipper kittens for her to sit on. :laugh: please don't sit on the kittens, Zip!

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. It's a lot to deal with and I hope things turn around soon. You have friends here. :hug:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-18 9:31 PM
No! Nobody is to sit on these kittens. But if you sit on the hallway floor at my house and stretch your legs out, soon you will have 5 kittens snuggling in your lap and using you as a climbing frame.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-15 2:38 PM Edited 2018-05-15 2:42 PM
OMG...I should totally foster kittens. :grin:

And yes, agreed. We personally have a lawsuit ready to unleash on him if he puts a foot wrong with respect to us, ever again.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-15 4:14 PM
Seriously -- do foster kittens. All the shelters are busting at the seams right now since kitten season is in full swing. We manage even though we have adult cats also -- we block off part of the house to be "grownup cat only" territory by pulling a low bookcase across the door. That way the adult cats can jump up and over the bookcase if they want but the kittens can't get up there.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-15 6:23 AM
sorry to hear about his dad :sad:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-15 8:06 AM
I'm sorry to hear about T-Bone's dad. :hug:
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-05-15 8:23 AM
Sorry for T-bones and your loss.  Also sorry things are tough for you.  Did you talk to your therapist about your dfficulty focusing and if you're progressing as expected?
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-15 2:39 PM
Yes, I did. This is apparently pretty normal for the EMDR therapy, so I'm willing to keep going and keep working through it.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-15 11:11 AM
:hug::hug: Sorry about T-bone's dad. May his memory be a blessing to you and t-bone.

Grief is hard. I'm sure the harassment stuff and the injury don't help. Be kind to yourself. :hug:
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-05-15 2:21 PM
Sorry for your loss.  Give T-Bone a forum hug, although that might be a bit creepy, so maybe just go for a long walk together and talk or not talk, whatever he needs.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-15 2:40 PM
We had a gym date today. And he's taken some bereavement leave and is being gentle with himself. :hug:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-17 3:56 AM
Sorry about his dad. :hug: Too bad about the estate stuff. But stick with the therapy, it can take a while but you will feel normal again.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-17 7:19 PM
I'm sorry :hug:
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-17 11:37 AM
I have an update on the issue at work a few weeks ago where the deans ganged up on me and I cried and my boss didn't step in and it was a major mess.  Well, yesterday was our deans meeting again.  Although there was one (or two?) that I missed in there, this was the first one where I was back at the meeting since then.  As the meeting progressed, people expressed anger at the way some of the employees had behaved toward a VP candidate and at the way some folks were behaving toward ones of the deans (apparently she is going through a vote of "no confidence" from her faculty). People in the meeting were saying "how can they do that" and "that's no way to behave in the workplace."  I took a deep breath and said "I think we need to acknowledge that we can be toxic to each other like this as well. We don't support each other. We participate in the blaming and tearing people down, and as leaders we can't expect our staff to behave any better than we do."  It was HARD to say, but it opened people up.  A few agreed. A few acknowledged what I'd said as being true. My boss (the boss over all of us) said she agreed, that she'd been targeted, and that she would take more responsibility for stepping in.  After the meeting ended, one of the folks from two weeks ago asked to speak with me. we had a great conversation that totally cleared the air.  She apologized. I said I understood what she was trying to say, it was the way she was saying it that was so painful.  We laughed together.  It was really great. I appreciate that she initiated the conversation.

I'm proud of myself for standing up for me. And I'm pleased with the behavior of my coworker who took action to make things right between us.
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-17 6:12 PM
That’s great that you stood up for yourself! :cool:
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-18 2:11 AM
Nicely handled. :cool:
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2018-05-18 7:12 AM
good for you! Way to stand up for yourself, and it sounds like you opened up a really important conversation for lots of people.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-19 3:24 AM
Well done! I love how women are standing up for themselves more and more. It's healthier and better for everybody involved.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-21 7:43 AM
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-21 9:16 AM
Well done -- to both of you. Much better to clear things up than to allow it to fester.
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-05-22 4:49 PM
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-05-23 11:30 AM
I'm proud of you for speaking up.  It's not easy calling people out on their behavior.  :hug:
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-17 4:02 PM
Dali's condition is going downhill again. She just had her 8th birthday a couple days ago. Poor kitty. :sad:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-17 4:27 PM
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-18 2:13 AM
Aw man...sorry Zip. I hope she has another reprieve. :hug:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-19 3:33 AM
Poor kitty. :cry::hug: At least she has great caretakers.
Parent - - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-19 3:32 AM
Anybody else watching the royal wedding? It's a rainy Saturday morning here so I will be watching. :happy:

We've been having horrible weather here, some you might have seen a picture on Facebook of our greenhouse upside-down on the grass. :shocker!::laugh: Luckily it's not damaged but there will be no early carrots this year, they were in a pot on a shelf so they had a long flight and they are a mess. It's been really cold so I hadn't put anything else outside yet, thank goodness. I've been growing my plants for about 7 weeks now inside and I'd hate to see them ruined after all that work. And we've had hail and bit of snow this week. Sigh...

By the way, I love seeing a long thread here. It's a great idea to have fewer threads with more posts. Let's keep this up!
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-21 7:39 AM
I watched some of it, not intentional but just happened to be on.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-05-23 5:39 PM
You guys, this has been the most unbelievably ridiculous day. :cry::laugh::cry:  BIL (China sis' husband) had surgery last week for hemorrhoids and started bleeding last night.  He got the bleeding stopped, but started  bleeding again around 3am.  Not hemorrhaging, but bleeding quite enough to get an ambulance ride to the ER in the middle of the night (with China sis and my dad following behind).  BIL ended up having surgery today for more stitches and is in the hospital overnight.  Meanwhile back here the two-year-old was up half the night because of all of this, then the four-year-old wet the bed around 4am and never really went back to sleep, so Mom was up almost the entire night.  I spent most of the day washing up bloody linens [I don't know how people without laundry in their homes manage -- if I'd taken stacks of blood-soaked sheets and towels to a laundromat, I'm sure the police would've been called] and trying to get the bedroom and bathroom cleaned up.  Oh, and the upstairs air conditioner quit working this morning. :laugh:  And, BIL's parents happen to be in town so they met him over at the hospital during the night.  When they went to leave this afternoon, his mom [who is diabetic, has had a knee replaced, and has fallen a couple of times] fell in the hallway of the hospital and hit her head and knee so she ended up in the ER as well. :laugh::cry:  She got checked out and is ok, though her knee is hurting, but I don't think this is how normal people live.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-05-23 7:34 PM
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-05-23 8:14 PM
OMG. What a night. :shocker!:

Yeah, all those little tiny veins surrounding the GI tract carry a surprising amount of blood. It's not a fun thing when they open up. Almost as bad as facial or ear wounds.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-05-24 6:56 PM
From my understanding, he had several very large hemorrhoids that were banded in the first surgery, but when they fell off the underlying blood vessel hadn't completely healed, hence the bleeding and need for more stitches.  I have to say that I don't think blood is that bad in the grand scheme of things.  I'm fairly confident that BIL doesn't have any blood-born illnesses, so I'd much rather clean up blood than vomit or feces.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-23 10:42 PM
Oh jeez. Sorry.

I agree...I don't know how people can do it without a washer and dryer.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-05-24 4:33 AM
and we don't understand how those who don't go to the laundromat can stand to have only 1 washer and dryer rather than doing all 6 loads at once and being completely done for the week in just over an hour.  :wink::laugh:
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