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Up Topic Communities / Women / Ides of April NRR
- - By swandive [us] Date 2018-04-17 5:19 PM
Not quite the same ring as Ides of March.  Also not actually the Ides of April, but maybe on an honorary basis since it's Tax Day? :wtf:  Anyway, I thought we could use a NRR thread for later in April.
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-04-17 6:00 PM
Also, I have a question to ask. : pbbt:

Has anyone ordered from eShakti?  I know nothing about them, but I saw a cute dress of theirs in a Facebook ad.  That's a terrible way to find anything :laugh: and I almost never wear dresses, but surgeon sis is getting married this summer and I suppose a wedding in the family is a dress-worthy occasion. : pbbt:  This is the dress:  Opinions?  Appropriate for an outdoor summer wedding?  I'd probably wear it with some kind of dressy sandals that I do not currently own.  I'm not a huge fan of the shoulder ties, but it says they're removable.  The length isn't one I'd ever pick, but I don't know if I should pay them to hem it to knee length or if that length might actually be good.
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-04-17 6:06 PM
I get those ads too!  I find them quite intriguing although ordering from the US is way too expensive so I've never really looked into it.  But don't they do custom orders - so you could order it in the length you like?
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-04-17 6:50 PM
They do custom orders ($10 to change the length), but I don't know if I'd be happier with a knee-length dress or if it'd be better to go with trying the dress in the standard length and maybe that would actually end up looking better. :wtf:
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-04-17 6:53 PM
I'm no expert but I think knee-length would be better on you.
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-04-18 10:13 AM
Thanks for your opinion. :happy:
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-04-18 12:28 PM
That dress is very pretty! :happy:
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-18 7:30 PM
I'm pretty sure knee length looks better on everyone. Whoever invented tea-length must have been walking on stilts. Or ran out of fabric so had to find a way to sell their "not quite floor length" dresses.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-19 7:47 AM
I hate knee length on me!  I feel like it looks like I didn't wanna pay for the extra length.  :laugh:
Parent - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-04-19 8:50 AM
:laugh: Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I have short legs and knee length dresses just do not look good on me. I generally go mid-thigh or mid-calf. The one exception is business-type skirts, and even there I go just below the knee.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-04-17 6:53 PM
I'm more of a Toad and Co person.  One of my friends got me this dress for my birthday.  I'm planning to wear it to her wedding this summer.  :grin:  With those same dressy sandals that I also do not own.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-17 8:15 PM
I did my first order from them about a month ago, did custom measurements. Things came fitting really well (except in the sleeve circumference) but I didn't like the drape of the fabric. So I returned the dresses and ordered two more, also custom, different fabric. And I'm waiting for them to come. Their customer service was great for the return, and the dresses fit well.  They weren't especially well finished. I love the idea of custom fit at this pricepoint, so thought it was worth trying again.  I'll let you know when the next one comes.

They are made in India, if that matters at all to you.
Parent - - By swandive [us] Date 2018-04-18 10:15 AM
Thanks!  I might end up trying it because I like that fabric and I don't want to go dress shopping. :laugh:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-05-02 10:54 AM
I got them in the mail. I really like one and decided the other is too long (it is mid-calf, and I think knee looks better on me, but that was their default.) So I'm going to keep the one and return the other.  These are also much better made than the original ones!
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-18 9:36 AM
MCF is going to be out of town from Friday to Wednesday at a conference. I am SO looking forward to that much time alone in the house. And I'm having a "gal's night" at my house, with about 10 of my favorite women! I go back and forth between wanting to spend the whole time getting stuff done around the house and wanting to just rest and do nothing. With that much time, I can probably do both!!:cool::cool:

he's a little hurt that i'm this excited about him being gone.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-04-18 1:28 PM
The key is to be excited when he is not around, silly!
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-18 7:21 PM
Fun. Also, I'm impressed. I'm not sure I even know 10 women, much less favourite ones that I'd invite over.

And not even close - I would do nothing.:blush:
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-18 8:05 PM
Have you seen the joke going around about how no one's talking about the fact that the real miracle is that Jesus was in his 30s and had 12 close friends? :laugh:
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2018-04-19 8:09 AM
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-04-18 8:03 PM
I totally get being thrilled about having the house to yourself!  I'd say plan on doing nothing, so when/if you get bored and inspired to work on stuff it's just an added bonus. :grin:
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-19 7:45 AM
I love having the house to myself!  DH got upset with me when I tried to get him to take the kids somewhere for their Spring Break without me.  I had to remind him he had the house to himself over their Winter Break when I took them to FL.  It's not that I don't love them, it's that sometimes I just want a break, and I want things to be like I left them.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-19 7:42 AM
So. Ready. For. School. To. Be. Out. For. The. Summer.

Friday night is the only night in April and May that we don't have anything on the schedule.  i plan to leave work a little early, order in food, and watch a movie in my PJs.  And pray that something somewhere gets cancelled every so often.  :laugh:

DS1 has really taken to soccer like I thought he would.  He's a quick study in goalkeeping; he actually listens to dear old mom.  I suspect the newspaper article my dad showed him with a picture of me in goalie gear, holding up the high school state championship trophy has a lot to do with that - proof that mom knows a thing or two about goal tending.  His middle school team started out slow; it's very obvious that they practice in a very small space because a. running the length of the field about killed them the first couple of games, and b. they stay all bunched up in an area that's about the size of where they practice.  They are steadily improving.  Last night they beat a team 3-2 that had beaten them 6-0 a few weeks ago.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-19 9:24 AM
So great that DS1 is into soccer and even better he is listening to you. O will not listen to me about dance despite having taught and danced myself for 18 years!
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-19 6:42 PM
I guess I should be careful what I asked for.  Got a night off tonight -- because I had to pick up DS1 from school because he's not feeling well.  Rapid strep test is negative, but the glands in his neck are swollen so he's fighting something.  Thankfully soccer is done for the week, and we just skipped baseball practice tonight.  Hoping he's feeling better by Saturday afternoon to be able to play in his tournament.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-19 9:23 AM
We are officially building a house :shocker!::grin: Made most of our selections the other day and now just waiting on permits to start the dig. Finishing a few things in order to get our home listed. Such craziness for a few weeks here but things should calm a little soon.
Today is my day off and was hoping to get things done but not feeling great, achy and chilly and my head feels weird. No fever, I checked. I have been really tired lately but my iron and feritin are super low (which explains why my running has not felt so great). The dr I saw and finally convinced to check is less than great and said "oh, maybe you should take some iron!":roll: You think?!
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 11:18 AM
I'm impressed. The number of decisions for just redoing a bathroom was enough to make me never want to build a house.
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-04-19 4:23 PM
Brave.  I don't think I would have the patience for all those decisions.  I mean, yeah, we need light fixtures.  I get that.  But don't make me choose among thousands of different styles!
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-20 5:59 AM
Luckily it wasn't as crazy as walking into a store with unlimited options. They have limited styles/colors for most things so it wasn't as tough as it was when we were remodeling the kitchen with unlimited options.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 11:09 AM
I'm in a snack rut. Does anyone have suggestions for high protein vegetarian snacks that don't take a ton of prep at work? I have access to a fridge, toaster oven and microwave, as well as instant hot water. I do a lot of hard boiled eggs, and cheese, but would like something more interesting for a while.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-19 11:18 AM
I do a lot of almonds and fruit, veggies and hummus, yogurt with fruit and granola, rice cake with PB.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-19 11:33 AM
nuts, nuts and more nuts.

or - veggie burgers.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 1:04 PM
I like nuts a lot but I've never understood the "handful" of almonds keeps me satiated thing.  Perhaps 5 fistfulls, but not a "handful."  I'm not that demure.
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-04-19 4:22 PM
I have a friend (an actual real friend) that eats 6 almonds for a snack.  I mean really.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-19 4:32 PM
I bet she thinks a serving of Thin Mints isn't a sleeve.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-04-19 4:34 PM
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 7:37 PM
Or that ice cream pints aren't single servings!:wink:
Parent - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-04-21 2:04 PM
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 7:36 PM
"6 satisfying almonds" is like "supportive shelf bra". I know all the words, but not the meaning when put together like that.
Parent - By skigirl Date 2018-04-19 7:55 PM
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-20 5:57 AM
Parent - By ironjen Date 2018-04-20 10:58 AM
:laugh: Oh god so TRUE!
Parent - By judyruns Date 2018-04-21 5:54 PM
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-20 10:36 AM
if you get the ones that are super spicy and or salty, they're a lot more satisfying.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-19 6:32 PM
What are you trying to achieve with your snack?  If you want something that tastes yummy, I suggest chips and candy. :laugh:  I presume you're looking for something a bit healthier, though.  Are you looking to fuel a workout later in the day?  Get a certain number of calories?  Or not too many calories while still feeling satisfied?  Are you ok with snacks that require some prep to eat, or do you prefer something you can munch on without taking a break from working to make a snack?
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-19 7:35 PM
I'm willing to do a little prep, like cut fruit, or heat something up, not willing to do more than about 3 min of prep. It is usually workout recovery that I need. I have breakfast and crave protein two hours later (and yes, breakfast is usually moderate to high protein, yougurt or whole grain bread with a black bean burger.).

It can't be very stinky, because coworkers. And I want it to satisfy me until lunch without being a gazillion calories or saturated fat. Some fat is fine, which is why eggs or cheese are often the snack. I'm looking for variety.
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-20 1:16 AM
I was going to suggest harfiskur - " Providing Icelanders with a healthy snack that's full of protein and nutrients." but it may not pass the stench test.:laugh: though I guess it's not veg either. : pbbt:
Parent - - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-25 3:55 AM
HarĂ°fiskur is delicious! And a very popular snack with hikers here. What stench?? :wtf::laugh:
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-26 1:02 AM
A friend of mine brought some back when ministicky was about a year old. He thought it was the best thing ever and devoured a whole pack on his own. :laugh:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:27 AM
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-20 6:59 AM
My go-to morning snack is peanut butter graham crackers + a piece of fruit.  For me, just eating straight calorie-dense food (e.g. handfuls of almonds) means I end up consuming a lot more calories than I intend before I feel full, so things like nut butter or hummus that's eaten with crackers/fruit/veggies ends up being a better balance.  You could also try things like bean soup (make at home and reheat or stuff from a can).  There's also plenty of good tofu dishes that can be reheated or eaten cold.  Bean salads could be pretty good for summer, too.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-20 12:54 PM
is a peanut butter graham cracker a thing, or is that PB on a regular graham?  I should probably go back to PB and celery too. The whole PB and cracker thing also ends up with me eating a lot of crackers. Of course, PB and a spoon works. :laugh:

It never occurred to me to do bean soup as a snack, that would be easy to heat at work.

Also, I used to do baked tofu sticks and a peanut dipping sauce. I'd eat that at room temp and not have to heat anything at all (or even put it in the fridge in the morning!!). Thank you for reminding me.

Bean salad is my go-to "I don't have time to make lunch" lunch in the summer. Often with cous cous, as that also is a "I don't have time to prep" food!!
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-04-20 7:06 PM
It's not a product (at least not as far as I know), just peanut butter sandwiched between two graham crackers.  They can easily be made the night before and not get soggy the way a peanut butter sandwich might.

I don't think I've ever had bean soup as a snack, but I was trying to come up with ideas for you. :laugh:
Parent - - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-20 12:28 PM
Roasted chickpeas? You can buy the non-processed ones that are just roasted until crunchy and have various flavourings from which to choose. Less dense calorically than nuts and for many more satisfying. You can also make these at home, obviously...
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-20 12:57 PM
I've never been able to be successful making them at home. The tend to get too crisp (and aggravate my TMJ) or are still soggy and I'm worried about them being food safe over time.  Do you have a favorite brand? Is it kosher? (I can do non kosher at work, so it doesn't HAVE to be),
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-20 1:58 PM
I've had Saffron Road brand before. It is GF, vegan, OU kosher parve. Lots of flavours, I get it from Whole Foods. 'Regular' grocery shops also have them.

A friend told me that Chickpeatos brand is also good. I've not tasted it as it is not kosher, but it is GF and vegan and non GMO. I've seen it at Whole Foods.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-20 3:47 PM
For the second time I've gotten to call puppy poison control :shocker!::cry: Today was for Brillo pads, who knew they were made of beef tallow. Looks like he just got the soap not steel wool but getting an X-ray just in case. Dang dog!
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-20 7:07 PM
Brillo pads are made from beef tallow? :shocker!:  And the dog thinks it's a good idea to try and eat them? :cry:
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-20 7:56 PM
The soap part is beef I guess. This dog thinks eating anything is a good idea! Luckily just induced vomiting and not surgery was all it took to get things out.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-04-21 6:55 AM
:cry:  Bad Dog!
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-04-21 9:22 AM
Oh, no! :cry: A little hydrogen peroxide for vomiting?
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-21 2:21 PM
The vet took care of the vomiting part so no clean up for us!
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-23 11:37 AM
I never would have thought that Brillo pads would have an enticing smell. Makes sense, though, once you know that the soap is made with tallow.

Which means they're not advisable for vegetarians either. I wonder how many people who would never dream of consuming foods made with beef fat are eating food cooked in pans that have been scoured with Brillo pads? No matter how well you rinse it you probably can't get rid of all the residue.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-23 12:15 PM
I was wondering about kashruit and brillo and here's what a reliable source says:
Parent - - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-23 2:10 PM
Interesting. For me, going forward I'll not use Brillo in my home - even though non-edible by us too, knowing it is there and exposing dishes to it when there are available alternative is not something I'll do.
Though wondering, as I've seen washing-up liquid with the OU certification....
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-23 2:39 PM
I don't think I'll use Brillo either. Ick. : pbbt:

As for OU cert on soap, you've probably also seen it on water. :roll: It is a way to make money for the OU, because people start believing that it is needed and therefore demand goes up. Not a fan.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-23 2:51 PM
Yes, on water too, sigh. Those kinds of things are what confuses people and, as you say, makes money for the certifying organisation.
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-23 4:55 PM
And sometimes holds businesses hostage - they have to pay a fee to the organization, the organization can tell them they should only use certain suppliers who may be giving them kickbacks and can charge unreasonable prices, and take away the certification if the business refuses. And from what I've read, the certification is often more about those fees and kickbacks than actually checking if the business is kosher. At least in Israel...hopefully that's not the case in the US.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-23 5:13 PM
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-23 5:32 PM
it is in the US too. this is why I would be "kosher by ingredient" if I had my way, but MCF wants certified.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-23 5:50 PM
Is there an issue with the supplier sources? I am reminded of some of my coeliac and allergy certifications, where sometimes the final product claims to be certified (with all the problems and corruption etc. you describe) but there is uncertainty regarding the conditions of the sources for each ingredient in a multi-ingredient product. So, e.g., hommus might be certified GF by an organisation, but they can't tell anything about the chickpeas that went into making it, how they were stored/processed, etc.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-24 7:47 AM
Right?! DH looked at me like I was crazy for not realizing soap was often made from animal products. My parents brought these over but I will be more aware of non food products I buy in the future.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-23 1:47 PM
Synchro video from yesterday. I'm the one furthest from the camera, with the red cap with a white circle.  You can tell we are working on counts. Try not to laugh too hard.
Parent - - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-23 2:12 PM
Not laughing at all! It looks very hard and you've done well.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:42 AM
Thank you. It is VERY fun!
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-23 5:00 PM
I'm impressed!:shocker!:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:42 AM
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-04-23 7:59 PM
You've gotten good so fast! 
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:42 AM
Thanks. We've been working hard.
Parent - - By judyruns Date 2018-04-24 6:29 AM
As a non-swimmer, I am even more impressed! How on earth do you keep together if you are upside down and submerged?
Great job! :happy:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:43 AM
You can hear the music under water, so as long as you know the counts, you can stay together. But it takes a while to get to know which leg is which when you are upside down!!
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-24 7:53 AM
Fun! :grin:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:43 AM
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-04-24 11:52 AM
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2018-04-24 5:44 AM
So I just learned about THINX. Does anyone else know about these and have used them? And if so thoughts on them?
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-04-24 7:56 AM
I have a couple of pairs. They work well for containing moderate flow or as backup for leaks. They claim to work for heavier flow, but I haven't felt comfortable trying that.

I found that I use them primarily for backup, or for the tail-end days when there isn't enough flow for a tampon. When using them as a primary containment method I was always worried that I smelled with a day's worth of flow at the end of the day. :sad:
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2018-04-24 3:18 PM
Ok, thanks. I bought some for my lass because she's frustrated with pads but as yet is afraid to try tampons (something she will HAVE to do for dance at some point). Her flow is a lot heavier than mine as I barely need anything now but for maybe 1.5 days. Are they easy enough to deal with for cleaning? I think it said rinse out in the sink then wash?
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-04-24 5:10 PM
Yes, they are easy to clean. With the medium flow I rinse then wash, with the light flow I just throw them directly in the wash. I should clarify with what I wrote above that I don't know if there was a noticeable odor, I was just too worried about it to feel comfortable wearing them all day.
Parent - By ironjen Date 2018-04-25 4:36 AM
I am weird about scent so that was actually one of my concerns. I guess I'll find out as I bought 2 pair for me : pbbt:
Parent - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-04-26 5:29 PM
some of the 4th and 5th grade moms swear by them for the girls.  I guess it makes sense, since pads are so uncomfortable the first several months.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-04-24 6:44 AM
Can I just say how much I love the f*ck off fairy
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:10 AM
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:43 AM
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:44 AM
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-04-24 7:00 PM
How is it only Tuesday???  It has been such a long week already. :cry:  Monday A and I left her house at 5am and didn't get home until 5:30pm.  I drove for 5.5 hours/300 miles (almost all of it in the rain) and all of the fest of the time was spent at doctors' offices.  The middle of the day was punctuated by a freakout because of a mess with an insurance referral that made it look as if A had the option of a) immediately paying $6000 for an antibiotic, b) going to the ER and probably being admitted to get antibiotics, or c) potentially dying from an untreated infection.  Have I mentioned how messed up everything is with our healthcare system? :meh:  Eventually the insurance problem did get sorted to where A was able to get the antibiotics without going to the ER, but it was one hell of an exhausting day.

I had planned to do a bunch of errands and head home yesterday afternoon, but obviously that didn't happen so I ended up down at A's last night and this morning then ran my errands (i.e. bought an awful lot of groceries) and got home and put things away and literally hadn't sat down before China sis and her family arrived after being gone for 3.5 weeks.  So now the circus is back, which is fun and all but awfully loud.  I did manage to sit down for a couple of minutes before fixing supper for everyone...
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-25 1:40 PM
I have a once a week meeting with a group that i find very angry. Today they turned their anger on me.  I cried in the meeting. :cry::cry: I'm not sure how to rebound from this.  Help?

Longer version- I inherited a HUGE project with no notice when an employee retired.  I distributed what I could to other people, but ultimately I'm in charge. This project is deploying a new campus wide software package (IT is doing their part, I'm doing our policy stuff). I already had a busy full time job.  So I'm struggling to stay on top of this process. We made it through the Spring and Summer cycle for this software. Now we are working on Fall and I'm trying to create policy as we go through the process. The folks in the meeting are the supervisors that are most responsible for the people who use the software. I started by asking for feedback and asking if I could train these supervisors on how to use the software so they would understand the limitations and benefits as we create policy. I was immediately told that they were not interested in training and that I needed to be listening to the employees responsible.  I reminded them that i meet with those employees for an hour a week, and the point of that meeting is two way communication. They said that I wasn't understanding the problems (which I do understand, I think they just don't like my solutions). One of them basically yelled at me that I need to listen more. Another took offense when I called her a decision maker because she said her staff member is the decision maker.  Anyway, the whole thing was confusing and upsetting and I spent an hour in my office crying. I'm not sure what my next steps should be-- other than a conversation with my boss about it (she was in the room-- she's also the boss of the other people in the room-- this was her direct reports meeting-- she's a VP).
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-25 2:15 PM

Taking with your boss about it seems a good first step, especially as she is also the boss of the others in the room whose behaviour was problematic. Maybe she can address the issue directly with them - did she say anything during the meeting?
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:47 AM
Whatever is going on, it's really pointless to yell and shout and make people cry. :shocker!: It seems like you were trying your best with a difficult situation.
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-04-29 2:37 PM
I'm a couple of days late on posting this comment, but I'm so glad you posted about this experience, and your follow-up realisations about why/how it was affecting you.  I had a very similar experience last week and first of all just knowing that someone else has gone through something like what I did helped me depersonalise and feel less alone, and also your comment that the experience hit on your imposter syndrome got me right where I live, highlighting that that was part of my reaction - so thanks.  Not to make this all about me : pbbt: but just saying I'm glad you posted.  :happy:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-29 7:22 PM
:hug:I'm sorry you had to go through something similar.  MCF and I had a long conversation on Saturday about what crying at work does to one's professional reputation.  The best spin I could put on it, was that in a female dominated workplace, a feminist leader would see it as an indication of how strong the emotion is attached to an event.  That may be seen very differently in a more male dominated or classically hierarchical workplace.

I hope you've had some good reflection.

My next step is deciding if I want to initiate conversation with the two women. They are people who I used to see as my peers and assume we had a level of trust and respect. I've been thinking of approaching them from a boundary setting perspective. Telling them that I'd like us to work together on resolving issues and I need that to be done in a calm and respectful way that assumes the best about everyone.

My discussion with my boss was not all that rewarding. She basically said the two of them did the same thing to her in her first few months here and that I shouldn't let them get to me. :roll:
Parent - - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:31 AM
Yesterday Facebook reminded me that it's a year since I met Tessa. Can't believe it's already that long! Great company, great Mexican food, not to mention the margaritas! So glad she took the trouble to drive all the way down to meet me. :grin:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-29 9:44 PM
:grin: It was fun!
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-04-30 12:26 PM
Need some vacation planning help.  One kid wants to go to the mountains, one wants to go to the beach.  DH isn't a beach fan, but will deal with it if we go.  So I'm looking for someone place that has both in close proximity.  Can be international, preferably not cost an arm and a leg.  Travel dates are first week of July (yes, so late in planning this).  Ideas?
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-04-30 2:27 PM
Do you want water warm enough to swim in?  Last year I did a quick Tenerife trip to see DH.  Definitely mountains and hiking.  Water should be warmer than say California.  Got a relatively cheap flight using WOW.  Did an overnight in Iceland.  Maybe you could even stay there a day or so.  They have stopover flights which were basically same cost as return flight rather than two separate flights.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-02 4:13 AM
Yes, Tenerife has both in spades.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-30 4:49 PM
What kind of beach and what kind of mountains?  Lay around on the beach? Or beach cliffs?  Swim temps (by normal people stanards, not by my standards) or just look at the water? Surf? Snorkel? Scuba?  For Mountains, rock climbing? Hike? Altitude sickness? Glaciers? Water Falls?
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-05-01 7:57 AM
Uh, um.  Idunno.  They're 13 and (so freaking close to 11 he can't stand it) 10, they didn't give details.

I'll guess - beach - they want to play in the water, maybe do some SUP, I'd love to get them snorkeling so we can move them to scuba in a couple of years.

Mountains - Hiking, pretty views, water falls.  Rock climbing with ropes and stuff would be awesome.  Maybe a zipline excursion.
Parent - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-05-01 9:44 AM
Costa Rica!!
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-30 7:13 PM
New Zealand. :grin:  The not costing an arm and a leg thing may nix that, though.  In general, volcanic islands are a good bet for getting mountains close to the beach.
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-01 1:13 AM
:laugh: you beat me to it. And there was/is a sale recently too. We're minutes from mountains and beach. Sometimes the mountains are on the beach. Sometimes an earthquake comes along and the sea ends up in the mountains.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-05-01 8:10 AM
Now that DH is over the shock of the initial cost estimate of $10K for flights and hotel, this might be doable.

Suggestions on what area to stay in?
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-05-02 12:10 AM
:grin: there is an added bonus that a lot of these places have awesome wineries nearby as well. We spent an awesome week in a bach (kiwispeak for rustic holiday house) right on the beach and right next to mountainous hiking trails, and 15 minutes from some of the best wineries in NZ - Marlborough region.
See here link

And here: link

That said, I'd recommend coming here for at least a couple of weeks and touring around if you're going to make the trip.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-05-01 4:41 AM
Adirondacks?  Get a cabin on a lake somewhere.  Acadia?  Probably too cold for much swimming, but you can rent kayaks or go whale watching.
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-05-01 6:32 AM
Hawaii has both mountains and beaches.  Maui and Kauai are the best.  And volcanoes on the Big Island!  Otherwise, there is California.  Lots of mountains near Santa Barbara (at least they seem like it when I am biking there).  And vineyards!
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-05-01 4:04 PM
But the water is awfully cold in California. That might be a plus for about one minute while they feel the Coriolis effect, but arctic currents get very old very fast.

And we have great whites close to shore.
Parent - By Nomad Date 2018-05-01 7:22 AM
If NZ can be suggested, I'll put in a plug for Beirut. Ski-ing in the morning, sunbathing on the beach in the afternoon. Less hella expensive than NZ but not by much :laugh:
Parent - By laxrunner Date 2018-05-02 12:21 PM
New England can be good for this! Not cheap but the outdoors options are great for mountains and beach. I saw someone mentioned Acadia already. Another option is spending a few days in the White Mountains in New Hampshire and then a few days by the sea somewhere in NH or MA. The water is cold though. :happy:
- - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-24 7:56 AM
Do we have anyone in NYC? I'm heading there for a conference in a few months. Was planning on DH and maybe O coming with but with this house stuff we decided it best to not have DH taking this time off work. So just me in NYC for 4 days, will be a nice break but if anyone is in the area would be fun to meet up
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-24 8:57 AM
I'm splitting time, I'll be there in a few months as well... PM me and we can figure it out if you'd like to meet and the dates coincide.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-24 9:44 AM
If you like Musicals go see Come From Away.  You won't regret it!
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:57 AM
Thanks, I'll see what's available
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:06 PM
Tip - unless there's something you MUST see - just use the TKTS app on your phone to see what is on sale for half off.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-25 5:09 AM
Thanks :happy:
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:06 PM
I'm a native NYC'er - happy to meet for coffee!  You're too fast for me to run with you.  :blush:
- - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:11 AM
From my sister:

Tips for using a bike share rental service in another city...
1.  DO NOT assume you can, at 52 years of age, immediately hop on yon bicycle and ride up a steep incline...while the bike is in third gear...and your computer and accoutrements are balanced on your back.
2. DO appreciate your ability to bring joy and laughter to your fellow commuters.
3. DO NOT expect their mirth to continue after you flip them the bird.
4. DO remember there is dignity in walking a bicycle up a hill.
5. DO NOT gloat about remembering to pack a bike helmet in your suitcase.  Your hubris will be rewarded with discovering that, while you packed safety gear, you forgot to include underpants.
6. DO check your map during your ride.
7. DO NOT forget to count your extra steps when you return your bike to the wrong station after cycling more than a mile off course.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-24 9:13 AM
I am afraid to ask why she found it necessary to search her suitcase for underpants during a bike ride. Maybe I should send ironjen's link to her...though Sis does not need those for menstruation, the total hysterectomy 10 years ago took care of that.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-04-24 11:53 AM
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-25 3:57 AM
Parent - - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-04-25 1:49 PM
DO NOT under any circumstances ever acknowledge that you tipped over at the stop sign while still cleated in. You just get up and ride like "yeah I planned that"
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-04-25 3:32 PM
No, no, no.  Some of the best stories come out that way.  Everyone falls when they are cleated in.  :happy:
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-04-30 5:08 PM
Yes!  DH had given me a bike for Christmas, complete with cleats.  Also, for the first time, shifters integrated with the brakes.  I took off riding without even thinking of being clipped in.  I was checking out the fit, the lightness of the bike, etc, and then got to the end of the block, where I used the cool new brakes to stop!   And toppled over.  :shocker!:  And neighbor men saw it and were asking if I was ok.  :blush::laugh:

Another time I was going to ride with the guys from work, and they invited a Cat 2 guy to come with.  He came over to meet us and amongst all the nice to meet you's, I leaned the wrong way and toppled over.  :blush::laugh::laugh:
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-04-30 8:09 PM
I was just learning clipless and caught up to my boyfriend, who was waiting at the intersection.  He had a new tri bike.  I was doing the slow motion know the one...and he had to make a choice.  Save me and maybe get a scratch on the new bike or ease his new bicycle out of the way so that I would fall unencumbered to the ground.  Well, we all know what happened.  :mutmad:  :laugh:
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-05-01 6:33 AM
Parent - By ironjen Date 2018-05-02 8:29 AM
Please, I fall off my bike once a season IN MY DRIVEWAY.
- - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-04-25 1:52 PM
:sad: One of our Mom's in our community (school group) husband had a heart attack and passed this weekend. He wasn't in the best of health but leaves her now with 3 girls and no life insurance, he could not get it due to his pre-existing condition. She was with him since High School. Please offer up a thought or prayer for John Charles Aaron and their beautiful red-headed family (wife and girls are full on redheads). Funeral is today. We have an amazing community of people here who were so supportive of our family and still continue to love and support us, she is blessed to enjoy that same community.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-04-25 1:58 PM
:cry::cry: So sorry for your loss. May his  memory be a blessing to all who knew him.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-04-25 2:13 PM
:sad: Very sorry to hear of this loss. Praying that his memory is a blessing and comfort, and that the family finds all they need in the coming days and months.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-25 7:43 PM
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:44 AM
:sad: Ugh, that's so sad. Great that she has people who support her though.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-04-29 9:45 PM
I am sorry for the loss of your friend and for the husband/father of the family.
- - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-27 3:52 AM
So frustrated! There is so much to do at work and I'm at home so fatigued that it's ridiculous. Argh!! There's a pile of stuff waiting and the e-mails keep piling in.

We've had a couple of big fires recently and that throws everything off balance of course. For those who have been here, the Pearl caught fire a couple of days ago. It looked bad for a while but it seems the damage wasn't as great as it seemed initially. The fire station is so close we could see the smoke coming out at the top. There was some construction going on that led to the fire, a very common thing. Seems like people never learn!
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-04-30 7:13 PM
Sorry about the work frustration. :sad:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-02 4:14 AM
Thanks, it's better now. I'm also better, the stupid fatigue is gone for now. :happy:
- - By stickywicket Date 2018-04-28 3:12 AM
Ministicky was busy drawing that looked like a crescent moon with a trapezoid on its side. He asked me "mom, is my house missing anything?"
I said, "hmmm...maybe a window?"
Mini, with a look of almost pity, "NOooOO! :roll: A tiger!"
"Oh, yeah, it doesn't seem to have one of those."

Then he proceeded to add a very elaborate and curly antenna.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-04-28 5:13 AM
But of course, every house needs a tiger! :laugh:
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-29 1:13 PM
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2018-04-29 2:34 PM
:laugh:  I remember those pitying looks. Actually, now that I have a teenager, I'm getting them again.  : pbbt::laugh:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-02 4:16 AM
- - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-30 1:35 PM
question for those in the medical professions - especially nurses

Is linkedin important for job hunting?   In finance it's an absolutely necessity, but I'm curious about other professions.  I have a friend who is job hunting but is a bit of a "tinfoil hat" person and is reluctant to put information on the web.

Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-04-30 7:15 PM
I'm on there and recruiters have contacted me through LinkedIn. I don't feel it is necessary but can be helpful more so for me now as a NP vs RN.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-04-30 7:15 PM
Parent - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-05-01 11:07 AM
Maybe for Medical searches, but not sure for normal searches. I am on LinkedIn but I rarely go there.
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-02 4:15 AM
I've been contacted a few times through LinkedIn. Some very tempting jobs which I probably would have looked at if I wasn't with H.
- - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-05-01 12:00 PM
Super overwhelmed today with everything that needs to get done in the next 5 days and the lack of time we have to do them. So already wearing my crabby pants (as O would say).
Called to give homeowners insurance some info that the adjuster said needed to be updated before they could fix our storm damage. The guy is clueless and argues that I am giving him the wrong mortgage info because it didn't fit in the box he had to fill out, not unless someone else is paying my mortgage that I don't know about:roll:!
Then take both dogs to the vet for shots/checkups, on my way there (5 min before appointment) and they call to say that one dog isn't really due for anything so don't bring him. Got to bring both dogs to the vet, that was fun! Lesson learned not to do that again.
O is scheduled to dance her solo at competition Thursday at 4, I never work Thursdays except this week.:cry: Then we have to be back Saturday for her group dances.

Booked flights to run MCM in October, so at least something fun out of today.:grin:
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-05-02 4:17 AM
You're moving, right? That is always a crazy time. Hang it there, it'll be great when it's over!
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