After a generally cloudy week, we are back to clear sunshine. Now the question is what to do with this fine day. Outside run, or gym? Maybe both?
This past week or so has taken a real toll on me, physically. I am tired on a certain level, but also could stand to get some exercise.
The family crap has been *so* nasty. I am really happy T-bone has had my back, and that he finally got to see the way my family interacts. He is a long-time friend of Twinzilla's, and has known my mom for a while, and he has been careful to stay neutral when Twinzilla and I have spatted, which is probably smart policy.
Our friend, Tannis, has been my de facto "mom" for decades, and she has known Twinzilla and me for decades, and loves us each, and she has also followed the "stay neutral while the twins spat" policy for many years. However, both T-bone and Tannis, after experiencing the family nastiness, looked at me this week and said "Everything you have told us about how they act toward you...? It was exactly what you described
It was both painful and a relief after so many years of being invalidated and gas-lit by those two to FINALLY have someone with an outside perspective look at the interactions and validate that I am NOT crazy, and NOT the problem. My family has pretty much put me in the "scapegoat" role of the family, and it is not my "imagination", or me being "overly sensitive", or needing to go on meds because clearly I have a psychiatric problem (which I do, but see, according to my family, I don't REALLY have PTSD, but I *am* crazy, in some other psychopathic way that makes me inexplicably angry with them, and terribly sensitive, but it is all in my head.
) that makes me feel nutso around them: it is how they treat me.
The current shi*tstorm, I confess, is one that I provoked. But I provoked it by saying I wouldn't put up with their crap anymore and would not stand for them isolating me from my son. And OMG, the sky fell in.