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Up Topic Communities / Women / November TTC/Preggo/PP
- - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 7:49 AM
How is it already November?!
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 7:49 AM
Parent - - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 7:49 AM
Parent - - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 7:58 AM
Ugh, I'm currently giving a midterm and feel like I'm going to puke from reflux. I forgot to pop some Tums before It's not so bad that I need to call someone in to sit with them while I run and get some but if it gets worse, I might!
Not much else going on. My next appt is Nov 22, when I'll get Rhogam and tDap, I think.Then my next ultrasound at MFM will be Dec 8. Everything is looking fine with the baby at this point!

Everything else is going pretty well, for the most part.
Sleep still evades me. For example, here's last night: E went to sleep around 9:20 and I was asleep by 10 I think. Then he made it in his own bed until almost 1 but then he wanted to be on top of me for the rest of the night. Like, literally on top of me. So he wanted me to lay on my back so he could do that and I can't really do that right now. He also usually rubs on my ear lobe when he's trying to fall asleep (fine, I can handle that) but last night he kept trying to stick his fingers IN my ear. I was just so uncomfortable and then as soon as I did get into a comfortable position, baby girl would start up her little dance party. I was so frustrated.
He seemed a little funky before bed and I even took his temperature, so maybe he is catching something or finally getting his last molars. He even got up and followed me into the bathroom last night when I had to get up to pee. And then this morning he was a little monkey hanging off my neck as I got ready for work...didn't want anything to do with Daddy. Hopefully he is feeling OK.

I'm ready to start getting the baby's room ready but we're getting some wiring done that means our attic stuff is now all piled in the baby's room. Hopefully that gets wrapped up this week and we can start cleaning the junk out! I had made some progress but then we had to rearrange the attic temporarily!

I guess that's all, I'm just rambling now!

C, how far are you now? Do we have any other ladies that are pregnant now?
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-09 9:25 AM
oh man, I have so much sympathy for you with the sleep stuff.  Gah, it is so hard!  So did you fall asleep with him on the mattress in his room/his bed and then go to your bed?  P will usually let me reposition her when she is sleeping with me so she is next to me, but she usually insists that I have my arm around her. Sure, sweet, but I really prefer to sleep on my side :cry: I'm sure I'll only continue to get more uncomfortable as the pregnancy progresses, yay.

Sounds like things are moving along with the little girl! :hug: How are you guys helping E with the transition?  That freaks me out a bit.

Ugh, I hope the reflux isn't too terrible!  You poor thing - no sleep, and then reflux.  Oh pregnancy is the greatest.  And it's a whole different ballgame with a toddler.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-09 11:29 AM
I forget, when is your due date?   Cute about E wanting to snuggle but notsomuch on top of you!
Parent - - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-09 9:30 AM
hello!  Yep, I'm for real preggo!  7w1d right now.  I have my first appointment on Tuesday.  Hopefully I'll get to hear the heartbeat and can relax a little. Feeling fine, just SO TIRED.  I've had a tiny tiny bit of queasiness at times, but really nothing bad, so I can't complain.  Trying to figure out when I'm going to break the news to my advisor.  While my PhD program is somewhat more family-friendly than others, I know I'm still going to get some weird comments.  Oh well. I've decided that I will let the comments fire me up and motivate me instead of making me upset and doubt myself.  I fully intend to get this PhD as a mom of two!  Or maybe three!  Yes, I'm crazy and still occasionally think that I want 3.  Maybe I should see how 2 goes first.

P is 14.5 months and is a wild little ball of fun and energy.  She says mama, dada, agua, achoo, uh oh, no, mmhmmm, yay, thank you, ball, peek a boo... and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting.  She was a lamb for Halloween and it was so much fun. Her sleep is still a disaster but I try not to stress about it too much.  I just do what I can, even if that means going to sleep with her on a floor mattress so we both get as much sleep as possible.  She still nurses a ton.  My supply hasn't dropped yet, but it likely will.  She eats a ton too, but she just love love loves her milkies.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-09 11:31 AM
by any chance does your due date coincide with a break from school?
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-09 2:04 PM
thankfully I'm due at the end of June, and the semester/year ends at the end of May.  However, I have to take my comprehensive exams on the coursework I took during the year (so, basically like final exams but they are not part of my course grade - I have to pass the courses and pass the exams and they are independent of each other) by mid August.  I have 2 comps that I have to take this year (out of 4 total).  I'm hoping I can take one in early June before the baby comes and the other one in mid August.  We shall see how that goes, yikes.
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-09 1:02 PM
Congrats on for real pregnancy! haha : pbbt:

That's so cute she's talking so much. Benji loves to shake his head "no" :meh: and he also really enjoys pointing and saying "UZZA??" meaning "what's that" and he'll keep asking until he gets his reply. :laugh::hug:: pbbt:
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-09 2:04 PM
UZZA - that's so cute :hug::laugh:
Parent - By DaffodilRunner Date 2017-11-12 9:08 AM
Dont worry too much if they cant hear the heart beat. We coukdnt hear it this pregnancy untik 16 weeks.  My doc picked up a reading at 12 weeks but we couldn't hear it.
Parent - - By DaffodilRunner Date 2017-11-12 9:10 AM
*delurk* I'm at 35.5 weeks now.  Not much happening in the excersize frint.  I try to walk with a friend two nights a week and keeping up with an active 4 year old on the week.  Looking forward to getting back at it after the babe is born.  3 more weeks of work and then off for a year!
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-13 4:57 PM
:grin: Do you know if this one is a boy or a girl?
Parent - - By DaffodilRunner Date 2017-11-13 5:16 PM
Nope!  Another surprise!
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-11-14 1:35 PM
It likely will be a boy or a girl!:wink:
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-14 5:02 PM
Although her 4 year old probably wants a puppy...
Parent - - By DaffodilRunner Date 2017-11-14 7:45 PM
The 4 year old has his heart set on a little brother.  We have to tell him regularly that we can't change it now!
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-14 10:57 PM
When DD found out we had produced a little brother for her she was not happy, she wanted a sister. Too bad.
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-14 1:22 PM
so cool!  You are very close!
Parent - - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-14 2:35 PM
the internet will be the death of me.  I just read three articles about how having a second child will destroy a marriage.

had my first prenatal appointment today.  A long appointment because it was getting my medical history, etc etc.  I'm going to a birth center, not a hospital, this time, and I really liked the vibe of the place.  I'll be seen by nurse practitioners and midwives throughout my care and L&D, as long as there are no complications.  No listening to the heartbeat this time, because I'm going for my first ultrasound on Monday (I'll be 8w5d then) and they will do the heartbeat then.  The NP said it was possible the heartbeat would be too faint to hear today since I'm not yet 8 weeks, and she didn't want me to freak out.  Fair enough.
Parent - - By skigirl Date 2017-11-14 2:37 PM
:hug::hug::hug:  I know a lot of families with three or four kids and very solid marriages.  Fear not!
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-14 2:55 PM
thank you!  I know it's possible of course.  I also know I need to be intentional about working with DH on kind of disaster proofing our marriage preemptively.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-14 5:03 PM
Yeah, because none of us have ever known any couple with two children whose marriage survived. Not one. : pbbt:
Parent - - By tritri Date 2017-11-14 5:23 PM
My parents are on 58 years after having 5 kids by the age of 23.  : pbbt:
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2017-11-14 5:48 PM
What doesn't kill you ... :laugh:: pbbt::hug:
Parent - By tritri Date 2017-11-15 10:21 AM
No kidding!  :laugh:  We all wondered how they did it.  My mom said one day she woke up and had all this energy!  It was then that she realized how tired she had been for so many years.
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2017-11-15 8:43 AM
When I was preggo I thought I'd be smart and join some forums and man was that ever a mistake. SO MUCH DRAMA. Husbands cheating, women cheating etc etc and I left. The internet is a dangerous place for the mind sometimes.
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-15 9:51 AM
oh, yeah, I do stay far away from those forums.  They are gross!
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-15 9:20 AM
This pregnancy is certainly rough on our marriage....
we had a rough fight last night in the middle of the night (always a good time to argue, right?!). I don't want to get into details but I wasn't impressed with DH's behavior since E was in the room with us.
Besides talking about what the issue was/is, we also need to discuss the issue of how he might be affected by how we fight/argue in front of him!
Parent - - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-15 9:29 AM
My post doesn't really give much encouragement...sorry!
I have heard that the first kid changes the mom's world the most and then the second changes the dad's more. We'll see if that applies. DH has had to pick up a lot of stuff that I used to do since I'm preggo.
Parent - - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-15 9:35 AM
:hug::hug::hug: No, I think you're just being real.  We're having similar tensions.
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:22 AM
We had a good long talk after that fight and cleared up some things that were going on. Hopefully, we can keep going down the better path....
lack of sleep certainly doesn't help you to see clearly!
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2017-11-15 11:13 AM
Congrats on yoru pregnancy!  I had to take a forum hiatus but am back, at least for today.

Ok, so here are my thoughts on a second child (or first for that matter) and of course it is only one individual's perspective.  I honestly believe that having your first child will show you what your spouse's true nature is and what your spouse feels is his/her role in raising/caring for a child.  I've been on the end where basically I am expected to make all sacrifices and the other person's life essentially remains unchanged.  Soooo I think the first child will give you good insight of what to expect.  You will be in teh same boat as me w/ two relatively close together.  It is harder, much harder than a bigger gap.  I've done both and can pretty firmly say that's the case.  With your second baby, you will have the extra weight of keeping both safe (like your first isn't grabbing the knife from the table that you had to get up from beause baby started crying, etc) including safe from one another because a toddler doesn't get the safety issues like say a 5YO might.  IMO, the biggest change is it is likely you will both have to be ON all the time.  You will likely divide and conquer.  Your DH will probably take the oldest, you the youngest (if you are nursing) as the responsible party if that makes sense.  It is very hard to care for both and take the same individual breaks.  I say that like a few hours alone so the spouse can have some me time is much, much harder with a toddler and infant.  You will be more exhausted, you will have less alone/free time, you will have less couple time.  I always found it the worst that one child would cry and wake the other and suddenly there are two crying kids.  That sucked the most during DH's deployment.  Prior to that I'd take one baby and he'd take the other.  With the age gap the sleep schedules will likely look different.  There will be stages where one will sleep, then the next, and you try to keep the other one quiet.  My advice is to discuss this all in advance.  Discuss that you know that you will both be short with each other at times due to being overly tired, etc.  Also know that it won't last forever.  I feel like it has to be understood that the relationshiop will be a bit on the back burner until you can get yoru head above water.  I strongly believe if you both understand that, it won't destroy your marriage and you know and trust the other partner will be there for you when things calm down a bit.  If it helps, make up a general chore list.  I also suggest you lower those standards a bit.  For instance, I used to weekly clean bathrooms, maybe drop that down to every 2-3 weeks (or just toilet weekly and rest less infrequently.)  I feel like if you agree to some things, it is harder to resent the other person because you came up with the division of things together and jointly.  It doesn't mean the list can't be adjusted once you find out making dinner takes twice as long as expected.  Be flexible as well.  DH needs exercise more than I do for mental sanity.  He knew he might just suddently be given the green light to go out on a run on short notice.  Not perfect but it also helped keep things happier on the home front.  It can be hard to say ok your run time is every other day from 6-645 AM and the baby was up all night with you nursing and you need that 45 minutes rest more than he needs his run, etc.  Much easier on the marriage if you feel completely in it together and you aren't trying to keep score and you both recognize that even if you loosely agreed to things, some days/nights are harder and you have to adjust.  With our schedule we didn't say bathrooms are done on Sat for example, it was more that it would be completed during the week and the partner responsible could schedule it in as possible.  Of course, maybe it's better for you two to have a firmer schedule. 

BTW, this is coming from someone who has literally zero family help.  It is all us/24 hours a day.  It is even harder with DS1's special needs/appointments.  DH & I would like to have alone time every month but it's hard to find a sitter for DS1.  A lady who is a teacher (has her master's in teaching) couldn't handle my son.  DH & I know it'll have to wait a bit longer for things.  Not ideal, but we both know sometimes this is the situation and we both want what's best for our child.
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-15 12:13 PM
thank you for writing all of this out.  This is super helpful and I may actually print this out and give it to DH.
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2017-11-15 12:19 PM
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-15 1:03 PM
You're such a great mom:hug:
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2017-11-15 3:21 PM
Thanks.  Nothing better than them cuddling with me and saying I love you mom.  Also helps because I've been through all of this and know I will get back to marathons and triathlons if my body allows it!  Also know my DH will give me the time to do it and I'm hoping that will be within the next year.  Communication is so important too and I'm not always the best at it.  Thankfully DH & I are both very committed ot seeing it through together and most of the time we both know we are both working as hard as we can and try not to take advantage of one another.
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:19 AM
DH asked if I'll start training for another marathon on this baby's first birthday! I said probably not but maybe more like when E is 5 or so. Who knows, we'll see.
I'm thinking a good goal for next year will be the run over the Bay Bridge. This baby's due date is Feb and that is a 10K in November, so that should work.

I'm glad your DH is supportive!
Parent - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-15 5:41 PM
this :hug::hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:21 AM
This is super helpful to read since we're about to be a 2 kid household too.
We've definitely already adjusted to a less clean house!
Parent - - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:15 AM
29 weeks now! Had a good appt today with my shots and everything looking good. Baby has been breech for most of my ultrasounds but today the midwife said she felt her in more of a transverse position, so that is good too!

Sleep is getting better at our house. E has had a couple full nights in his room. We're leaving the light on, which seems to be helpful. E seems scared of the dark right now we think. He's still going to bed late when he naps at day care though, so last night was around 10:20. But then when he woke up at 3 or so, he quietly came in and crawled into bed next to me instead of getting really upset, so that works out fine for me.
He's been majorly resisting bedtime but last night went a little better too. I actually got him to brush his teeth.
Oh and did I mention he's been losing it at bathtime too? DH has just started calling him pigpen because we've majorly reduced the frequency.
Parent - - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:50 AM
29 weeks!! :hug:

glad to hear sleep is improving.  we are attempting a nightlight thing - last night P slept from 8:45 - 12 in her room without waking up, so I'm going to attribute it to the nightlight.  Haha. 

We are working on teeth brushing now too and it's soooo hard.  P hates it!
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 12:27 PM
Yeah, sometimes I just don't even bother with the toothbrushing but most of the time we can at least do a little. We go to the dentist next week for his first visit, so I've been hyping that up when we brush.

It helps E to be really warm too so we crank up the heat in his room. He won't use any sort of sheets or blankets. I'm considering keeping our baseboard heat unit in his room, even when we get the upstairs switched over to a central system.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-22 8:38 PM
Try to brush the teeth as often as possible because you want to instill good habits, but if one night gets skipped you are not going to find all their teeth on the pillow in the morning.

If he really hates bathtime, try to do the important areas but he may not need a full bath every night.

Yay for baby turning!
Parent - - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 7:49 AM
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-09 8:01 AM
Paging Fry and happysnappy!! How's everything?
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-09 1:01 PM
Hey so Benjamin is going to be 16 months soon I can't believe it. :cry: He's a little terror but in a really cute way. He's been sick 2 out of the last 3 weeks with a week of wellness in between during which he got a giant fat lip at the playground. So it's been a rough Fall so far but he's doing so great. I have a question for you guys. Benjamin just started a new daycare. Before he was in a private one with no city contract so they could kind of do whatever (they were still licensed so whatever but still within reason). This one is subsidy and it's only been a couple days so far but it seems overall really good. One thing I liked about it is that they have a gym room with mats and fun stuff for when the weather is bad. But yesterday the weather was awesome (for this time of year here in Canada) and they still went to the gym instead of outside. I asked the ECE/infant room manager and she sort of brushed me off saying they take them outside don't worry etc. But I *am* worried and yes I'm "that mom" I guess. Isn't it really bad for them not to get sunlight during the day? They weather was so nice yesterday and he missed it and I feel bad for him. I'm pretty sure once he's in the toddler room the Province mandates he gets outside time and that's only in a couple of months, but I want the best for him now, not just in 2 months! What do you guys think?
Parent - - By classicsnerd [us] Date 2017-11-09 2:06 PM
aw, B sounds adorable!  I'm so sorry about all of the sickies :sad:

I know what you mean about being "that mom" but I'd be annoyed if P did not get to go outside on a beautiful day, esp since those days will be fewer and fewer as winter comes.  I don't know if it's worth pursuing if he's only going to be there for a couple more months?  Kind of up to you.  Is there anything else you've seen about this place that is concerning?
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-09 3:17 PM
No the rest of it seems awesome. I just want EVERYTHING to be awesome. :roll::blush:
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-09 2:18 PM
A little terror but in a cute way - ha that sounds like mine. Maybe it is a Benjamin thing :laugh::laugh:

Re: the daycare that does seem weird but maybe there was a legit reason. To be honest I don't think I'd ever even ask, aside from in passing perhaps, if he went outside. I know at mine they like to take the babies on walks if they can but sometimes it just isn't possible. Missing a day of outside play isn't the end of the world, but if it becomes a habit on nice days then you might ask the director if the teacher isn't giving you much of an answer.
Parent - - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-09 3:18 PM
We live in a small apartment so he just runs around in circles in the evenings, opening every door he can get his hands on. He loves opening and closing doors. :wtf:

I liked his old daycare they had a baby part of the playground that they'd take them out to every single day. I really wish they would take him outside more at this place. :sad:
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-10 7:40 AM
My niece (now 8) loves opening and closing stuff when she was little. We have a playhouse type thing and B loves to open and close the door, although he usually hits himself with it or gets his chunky thighs stuck under the door while trying to open/close :hug:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-10 7:57 AM
chunky thighs:hug::hug::hug:
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2017-11-09 4:08 PM
Most NYC kids are indoors all day due to space constraints. He will survive.  As long as they have space for gross motor it doesn't matter if it is inside or outdoors.

That being said, yes, fresh air and sunshine are nice, but it's not the end of the world. :hug:
Parent - By BrookieCookie (Canadian Beaver) Date 2017-11-09 6:16 PM
Thanks this sounds nice and sane I needed to hear this. :laugh::hug:
Parent - By easternshoregir [us] Date 2017-11-22 11:17 AM
I'm big on outside time too. I think at least he's getting exercise/physical play time in the gym though, so that is a good thing!
My day care provider is about to have her 2nd baby so she's doing less outside time with the kids than usual, which is kind of a bummer but we do what we can when we get home, even if it means playing outside in the dark...
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-22 8:39 PM
Many children don't see the sun all winter. If they go out when they get the chance, great, but they're not going to collapse with rickets if they don't play outside most of the weekdays.
Up Topic Communities / Women / November TTC/Preggo/PP

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