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Up Topic Communities / Women / Freezing Friday NRR
- - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 11:25 AM
Freezing or not where you are?
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 11:28 AM
Sorry had a NRR question so selfishly started a NRR thread...
Only sharing minimal info since this is public forum but has anyone had to deal with getting final wages from an employer and the employer giving excuses not to pay? I'd love to talk with anyone who has dealt with this or knows how it works.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-11-03 11:46 AM
No idea, but it doesn't sound good.:meh: Is the "excuse" in any way valid? Is the amount of money worth contacting a lawyer for?
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 11:51 AM
I don't think it is a valid excuse and yes.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 11:59 AM Edited 2017-11-03 12:03 PM
some states have specific rules related to final paychecks so if they are violating those rules then I'd be looking at giving them that info and if they still don't pay looking at a lawyer. Assuming the company isn't in bankruptcy or some other reason why they don't have the $$ to pay wages

Edit: you could also look at filing a wage and hour claim either through the state labor division or through the Dept of Labor's Wage and Hour division.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 12:04 PM
Have given that info and then finally got a response with excuses.

ETA: I think that may be my next step.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 12:12 PM
If they are past the statutory timelines (ie next scheduled payperiod or potentially the 2nd scheduled pay period), then, if you are in the state I think you are, you can make a written demand notice for payment. They have 24 hours to comply and after that they are considered in default. I would then contact the state labor division (and potentially the DOL as well) and make a claim with that after you make the written demand notice if you have not done so already.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 12:16 PM
Thanks and it has been a week since written notice to them.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 12:20 PM
I'd definitely file a dispute then. Hopefully that will resolve it without the cost of a lawyer. No smart employer wants to have the state or federal wage and hour folks digging around their payroll.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 12:16 PM
THIS link might be helpful for writing the letter and filing a dispute
Parent - - By elmtree Date 2017-11-03 12:07 PM
Laws vary by state/city.  That said, often they have to pay remaining owed wages on or by the next pay date.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 12:11 PM
Looked and that is law here, and that day has now passed.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-03 1:13 PM
They're not in receivership, are they?
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-03 2:43 PM
Had to look up what that meant :blush: but no, I don't believe they are.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-04 8:28 PM
Sorry. Bankrupt. Chapter 11 (or 7). Bust. Deadbeats.

If they were then you might not get paid, but if they are still operating they should pay you what they owe you.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-11-03 11:46 AM
Snowy, but not freezing.

I'm trying to work out a visual joke in my head.  If tree pose (yoga) is this. And a Joshua Tree is this. Then what does Joshua Tree Pose look like?
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 12:01 PM
It looks like the Y from the YMCA dance in my head :laugh: i'm sure that doesn't help but that was what I first thought of
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-11-03 12:10 PM
I was thinking the normal tree pose with different arms might work. More like the Y from YMCA. Or something like Dancers Pose.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2017-11-03 12:14 PM
Dancers pose would be good too
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2017-11-03 12:48 PM
Freezing fog last night coated the trees, and there was a dump of ice around all the trees as the day warmed and the ice coating slid off. Still chilly, but nice and sunny.

The Ratbag is going to turn 19 in just a couple of weeks. I just ordered him a new outfit for his birthday...love me some Sierra Trading Post! I hope XH gave me the correct clothing sizes for him. I hope he likes the clothes. I am doing the anxious mommy thing here, I am afraid.
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2017-11-03 1:49 PM
19?!?!?!?!?!?!?  Uh, how did THAT happen?  Ratbag is a wee pug.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2017-11-03 3:54 PM
I hope Ratbag likes the clothes. :hug:  Ratbag is in college now, right?  Have things gotten any better between the two of you now that he's (presumably) not living with XH?
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2017-11-03 5:48 PM
Nope. But he is barely talking to XH now, either. Which is probably a necessary step while he figures stuff out.

He *is* talking with Twinzilla, though, and I found out that he has...cue dramatic drum roll...taken up running. :shocker!: :grin: On his own. Which I had suspected might happen once he was out of the house (and yes, he is a freshman this year). He is also playing intramural soccer with one of the college teams. I am happy he is active, and he is going to get a gift card to a sporting good store for Christmas so he can get the clothing he needs for it. :happy:

I *did* finally call ex-MIL, btw, and wrapped up that niggling loose end by thanking her for making an effort to be a good MIL while I was married to her son. I felt I needed to do it, and was finally in a good enough head space to be sincere about it. We had a pleasant talk. Glad to get that done.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2017-11-03 6:59 PM
I'm sorry. :sad::hug:  I know it's tough to not have much of a relationship with your kid but, as you know, a relationship takes two people so there's not much you can do until he's ready.  FWIW, one of my college roommates had a terrible relationship with her dad for a good while, but finally she was away from her mom for long enough to realize that her mom was the batshit crazy one.  Now she's close with her dad and stepmom, but it took a while for her to figure everything out.  And the friends I know who have the worst relationship with their parents?  Friends whose parents are still together.  Said parents have been miserable and barely on speaking terms for 30 years (married for close to 45 years).  Unsurprisingly there's so much tension in the house that their kids don't want to be around them.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't look like it's something that's going to happen overnight, but hopefully you doing what's right for you will ultimately make your relationship with Ratbag better. :hug:

it's nice that you were able to tie up some loose ends with MIL. :happy:
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2017-11-04 7:22 AM
Agreed - the roughest can be when here is so much tension it is about to explode (or does on a regular basis), and not about to change... and the instinct is to avoid that place/those people.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2017-11-04 7:23 AM
Good thoughts that it goes well with Ratbag's present and he comes around when he is ready.
I read back about the harassment and stalking - gobsmacked. Nothing to offer but hugs to you and wishes for a resolution that gives that person what he deserves....
Parent - - By swandive Date 2017-11-03 7:13 PM
We're going out to lunch tomorrow with friends of the family.  They're very nice people and I like them a lot.  They picked the restaurant -- and will almost certainly pay, so I have no room to complain about the arrangements -- but it's a restaurant that seems to be known for its steak.  It's the kind of place where the lettuce wedge (who actually eats wedges of lettuce :wtf:) has bacon on it. :roll:  I might be able to eat an appetizer/side that is basically straight up cheese or request a salad without meat.  Either that or be the PITA diner who demands that they make me something special (which I won't do).  I'll eat something beforehand and politely say that I'm not very hungry, but I need to vent.  Is it that hard to have some sort of actual vegetables on the menu?
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-11-04 5:35 AM
I hate places like that! And every vegetable side has cheese sauce or bacon mixed in :roll:
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2017-11-04 6:47 AM
When I eat at those kind of places I usually ask for a plain baked potato and some broccoli (or whatever side vege they have).
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2017-11-04 7:20 AM
This was my thought too as a possibility for you.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-04 8:30 PM
Yes. It can be very hard for them.

Why does every vegetable need to have bacon grease or butter on it? Why would they take perfectly good potatoes and include just a little ham? Does rice have to have chicken broth incorporated into it? And soup, would it be so terrible to have vegetable soup made with a vegetable broth base?
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-11-06 1:01 PM
I think a restaurant "known for their steak" is not intending to accommodate vegetarians or vegans in any way.  Would a restaurant "known for their vegan food" accommodate a meat-a-phile by adding bacon?   

While I can sympathize with her dilemma, it really isn't the restaurant's duty to make their menu more vegetarian friendly.  They have their niche, and seem to be honest about it, at least, rather than subject the unsuspecting customer to unwanted animal products.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-06 5:03 PM
No, however there are few people who have sincerely held beliefs that eating vegetables is harmful to the vegetable but there are a good many people who have objections to eating meat. And while one can often ask for meat to be left off (potato skins, no bacon, please; pasta with tomato sauce; I'll have the salad bar as an entrée, please), it's not possible to remove meat products that have been added. I'm not saying they should be made vegetarian in all instances. Quiche Lorraine without any bacon isn't happening.

Personally, I'm not asking any place to make all their offerings vegetarian or vegan, but if I'm going to the restaurant because a friend or family member wants to go there, I like to be able to eat something. And while it certainly isn't their duty to make their entire menu more vegetarian friendly, it would seem to be good customer service to offer one or two non-meat dishes. And a couple of gluten free items also.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2017-11-06 6:11 PM
With regard to gluten free (GF), I'd actually rather that a restaurant *not* offer GF options. The vast majority of restaurants do so, but create risks of cross-contamination in the kitchen with gluten items or do not understand/implement/have the capacity to execute) safe GF meals. Making the regular salad and pulling off the croutons does not work. For those with coeliac or non-coeliac gluten allergies, this could be misleading and physically dangerous. Restaurant kitchens are busy places, and having a dedicated GF prep area, segregating ingredients/utensils, and making sure chefs/assistants do not transfer gluten on their hands/utensils... and even sourcing ingredients from truly GF places (i.e., lentils from a dedicated GF facility, not those processed on the same line as gluten grains/items) is something that restaurants cannot manage.

This is not the fault of restaurants, but really keeping coeliacs and those who medically need to be GF is a tough job. Having a few "GF" items on a menu can lead those people to try them, and then potentially be very ill indeed. It also creates a misleading impression among those in the restaurant industry because they do not get a consistent message of what GF means and what it takes - it is seen more as a fad or something to which they have to cater rather than a medical issue. As a coeliac, I only eat at the few 100% dedicated GF restaurants that do not have cross-contamination risks, source their ingredients from dedicated GF sources/facilities, etc. Yes, this means I rarely eat out. That is something I accept - sitting with family at restaurants and just enjoying the company, declining to eat with no resentment.
- - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-03 1:14 PM
Freezing? Bwahahahaha.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2017-11-03 1:21 PM
I'm with Tessa.* :meh:

*Not literally "with."  We're on opposite sides of the country, but seem to have a similar lack of freezingness.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-11-03 2:24 PM
I think we're about at the same latitude, but your humidity creates a much higher degree of suckitude at the same temperature.
Parent - By swandive Date 2017-11-03 3:21 PM
Yeah, though we haven't been at 100° recently so relative suckitude is likely similar.
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