Post the stuff.
Bonus: if you are/have been married, did you have a big wedding, a small wedding, or elope? Would you do it different if you were to do it again?
Run: 12 x 2:00 @ 8:04. My pace was all over, from 7:50 to 8:15.
I was just running on the road instead of a track or path, so that might have had something to do with it. Next time I will sneak into the track where this early morning runner guy showed me this morning where he sneaks in.
6.65 miles on the day.
Blather: crazy few weeks at work. Got one big win, yay! Hopefully more wins to come before the week is out.
Bonus: my first wedding was medium-sized because I invited all of my extended family and they all showed up. For my pending wedding, fiance and I were thinking of having ~50-100 people, but I am getting sticker shock and now we are thinking about eloping or having a super small wedding (~15 people).
congrats on the win.
I will put my wedding comments below.
I didn't think your paces were too far off, especially if you weren't running the same place each time.
Sneaking into the track
Been there; done that!
2017-07-18 5:55 PM
Small is smart, you can do something fun like travel instead with that money.
Track this morning: 3 x 1200m in 5:07, 5:07, and 5:06. Total 5.5 miles.
Blather: My writing project continues. I had a few people look at it and realized it's totally written with a "throw your dead spouse under the bus" bias. Living with someone with mental illness for 6.5 years, losing them to suicide, and then dealing with the aftermath as a single parent for 1.5 years...yeah, that might have left me a touch bitter. Up next: adding a bunch about better years earlier in our marriage. I'm up to 40 single-spaced pages and there's a lot more to write. This may eventually turn into a book or a blog or something.
Bonus: We had about 130 people at my first wedding. If I ever get married again, it will probably be a smaller event - my kids, her kids, our parents and siblings, my in-laws (take that out of context and it's quite bizarre - inviting my in-laws to my wedding) and maybe a few close friends.
It sounds like the writing project is doing it's job, right? Giving you the opportunity to process your thoughts on paper, see them, and then add more to create a full picture of the story while being true to yourself and her memory.
2017-07-18 6:38 PM
Anger and blame are stages of grief -- and gees, 6.5 years is an awful long time. I applaud your courage to face the past and work through the memories. Although 2016 wasn't nearly as bad for me as it was for you, I still hesitate to open up a lot of those memories and deal with them.
2017-07-18 6:40 PM
Going through all of the memories and trying to make sense of them seems like the best path forward for me.
Regarding your stuff from 2016, it's hard to open memories up when they're still so raw. Maybe with the passage of some time you'll feel ready to go there.
2017-07-18 5:13 PM
2017-07-18 5:16 PM
I'm glad you're still writing. I still owe you some feedback.
Nice consistent splits, too.
2017-07-18 6:40 PM
2017-07-18 7:44 PM
It's a lot to deal with, bitterness is completely understandable.
2017-07-19 12:44 PM
Writing is very cathartic for me, and it's one of the constructive ways I have found to deal with crap that is bugging me. Your perspective - a supporter/spouse of someone struggling with mental illness - may not be that well documented. Six and a half years is a long time, and it sounds like it followed a set of happy, "normal", years. If it were me, I could see myself waiting for things to 'go back'. I like the idea of a book or a blog - I bet this is something from which many people could benefit.
6 miles, started at 8:30, so hot. When R travels I can either do the TM or after I drop N at school. Tomorrow i have to do the TM so today I picked this.
I am stress eating today. It's not good!
Blather just a lot of stressful life stuff right now. Hopefully it will all be resolved soon, but ugh.
Bonus we had about 140 or so people. I wanted a small wedding-just immediate family. R really wanted friends there, I don't regret it but I would have been just as happy not spending the money on that. If I were ever doing a wedding again I would go small or elope. Probably small, because it is nice to have a few people there
I had never thought that guys would want a larger wedding, but that was exactly the case with DS. We had a lot of fun.
Hope the stress resolves --
Happy, easy run this morning with (drumroll) DS and DIL!!
They called yesterday morning and asked if it would be OK for them to come hang with us a couple of days. We mulled it over for at least two-tenths of a second before saying "HELL YEAH!!!" It took most of the day to clean out the guest room, but hey, GREAT chore to get done b/c we only really clean up when someone comes to visit
It's been fun. They brought their old cat and their 14 week old golden puppy. Both are doing fine and it's wonderful to have them here.
DH and I had a small-ish and informal wedding -- since we were from two different and fairly tight-laced denominations, we just got married outdoors so no church got to lay claim to us
For our reception we had a big picnic, drank beer and played softball. I played umpire and made my calls depending on who needed to score to keep the game even. Not to say that things got out of hand, but one of my friends was using a shopping cart to play outfield. The only thing I would do differently is relax more and not sweat the details so much.
2017-07-18 4:04 PM
Picnic sounds awesome!
Four very sweaty miles this morning. The temperature wasn't bad, but the humidity was Houstonish. We didn't get enough rain last night to do much of anything except make the morning running miserable.
BONUS: We had 120 people at our wedding because that is exactly what the venue would hold. That was maybe a few too many, but I was really pleased with how many of my old friends made the trip. I don't spend too much time thinking about doing it again.
When I say I wish I had relaxed more, I was kind of referring to the number of people who cared enough to come and be with us. At that point, I didn't realize how much effort it took for some of them and how special the happy time together was.
2017-07-18 4:03 PM
5 miles at noon. They didn't suck as much as last week, so I guess that is progress. They are calling for 100 degree temps just in time for the weekend.
We had a medium sized wedding. My wife is the youngest and only girl in her family, but her parents set a pretty tight budget that we had to stick with. It wasn't fancy, but everyone had fun. We're on the opposite side of things now with our son getting married Labor Day weekend. The girls are off to a shower for the bride on Saturday.
2017-07-18 5:12 PM
Nothing for me today. I can't go out on the bike before work anymore and haven't done it after work. Tomorrow will be out too since I have a late afternoon follow up appointment to see what everyone thinks about the MRI results. I'm still rooting for a fracture. I think that will mean a quicker and easier healing than a ruptured tendon.
Bonus: We had about 100 people at my first wedding, I think. Maybe less. I can't remember. I was in my 20s and even though I had never thought I'd get into the whole dress with a train and flowers and all that traditional stuff, I did and it was fun. Bill and I have talked about what we'd do if we ever get married. It will be small, with a Quaker marriage license (don't need an offiant). Our most recent idea was to just have our kids and one or two close friends, since we only have one kid legally old enough to sign the certificate as a witness. But I guess now we'll need a new plan.
2017-07-18 5:19 PM
Went to the gym this morning & did core & shoulder PT exercises & then swam 1600 meters. I've been at 1500 - 1600 meters swimming for almost a month now & my shoulder is cooperating
Bonus: We had a medium wedding.
2017-07-18 5:52 PM
2017-07-18 5:55 PM
Stuff: 5 miles this morning. 1.2 with the pup. It's hot and icky but can suck it up for 5 miles.
By American standards my wedding was yuuuge. :p It was sort of midsize and modest by Indian standards, half a day and done. if I'd had my way back then it would be even smaller. I find it a waste of money but in India it's a family thing and I wasn't paying so I let me parents do whatever. Still we did keep it fairly simple, especially now when I go back and see the weddings. It's insane and I am amazed at some of my younger cousins wanting elaborate multi-day weddings. Beyond foolish. But oh well.
I can't even imagine multi-day weddings!
4.5 miles this morning, boxing class at night. I made very delicious banana bread this on ring after the run and equally delicious cauliflower pizza after boxing.
Bonus: I think we had about 120 people, a bit too big to be able to spend more than a few minutes with anyone. If I got married again, I would only have my kids attend.
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