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Up Topic Communities / Women / Week of dreams nrr
- - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-15 11:59 AM
If not the whole week, well, until someone starts another. Happy MLK day to all.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-15 12:02 PM
Weekend was awesome. Spent all day Sunday at Limmud, a transdenominational Jewish learning event. And was amazed at the talent in that one building! Jews from all walks of life. I learned about Chigal, Jewish law on transgender issues, meditation and music. And hung out with some of my favorite Seattle Jews.

Today the bathroom guys are here. The fixtures are gone and they are looking at the plumbing, etc. I'm both excited and nervous. This is the first big project like this that MCF and I have done, and I know something will go wrong, I just don't know what yet!
Parent - By runningteach [us] Date 2018-01-15 1:40 PM
I enjoyed looking at your pics on fb.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-15 7:11 PM
I am vicariously enjoying your life, reebs. That's some cool stuff going on. And the bathroom remodel is exciting.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-15 7:49 PM

> I know something will go wrong, I just don't know what yet! :laugh::laugh:

So true!  I think part of a successful remodel is to realize that everything isn't going to go to plan and to not strive for perfection.  I mean, you want to make it the finished product as good as possible, but you could spend weeks looking for the perfect drawer pulls when you could find drawer pulls that are good enough in 15 minutes.  But good luck convincing YCF of that. : pbbt:
Parent - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-01-16 10:56 AM
So true, and things also won't be perfect because there will always be something you just didn't think about, and wouldn't have occurred to you no matter how long you debated.

The other thing that has amazed me about remodeling is how much my own personal style has changed over time. We almost finished our basement 3 years ago, and finally did get around to doing it last summer. When I compared my choices for finishes 3 years ago compared to what we picked last year, there had been some considerable drift. I'm sure I would have been quite happy with my original choices, too, it just would have been different. I know if I were to pick now, the choices would be different still. That doesn't mean I'm not happy with how my basement looks now.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-16 12:08 PM
We had a decision point yesterday where we had to take a chance, and it paid off.  We want a bigger mirror/medicine cabinet than the old one, and we want it recessed in the wall.  They removed the old one, but to put a recessed one in, the contractor said he had no idea what we'd find when he opened up the bigger hole.  He gave us the bottom amount it could cost, and said he couldn't give a top amount if there were pipes or wires in that part of the wall. We took a gamble and won.  He was able to easily frame in the new cabinet AND even decided to charge us less than the bottom amount!!:cool::cool: 

And I did a lot of coaching to both MCF and I that it was all going to work out in the end and we would deal with whatever went wrong along the way.  So far we have done well with that. Let's see what they discover today!!
Parent - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-01-17 6:49 AM
Yes, there's always something unexpected! We are remodelling our kitchen right now. :shocker!: Not much cooking going these days.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-16 12:04 PM
Remodel is progressing. I just bought $150 of paint, so I guess we are committed to colors! The guys work very fast, I'm impressed at how much they get done in a day.

When they opened up part of the wall yesterday, they found a 3x5 card with a lot of writing on it in Chinese.  I had a friend translate, and it is a list of home projects and the dates they were completed. The writing is in the original Chinese script, indicating it was written by an older person.  We bought the house from a Chinese American family when the matriarch was moving into assisted living.  Her daughter (who is at least 10 years older than me) was power of attorney, which makes me think she was fairly incapacitated by the time we bought the house. I love knowing the house's history, especially because I know we are only the third owners in a 1952 house.

In other news, can someone remind me the forum name of the woman who is an artist and lives in Alberta? I know her facebook name but can't get myself to put it together with a forum name.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-16 12:29 PM
that is cool about what they found in the wall. Fun piece of history
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-16 12:31 PM
Are you thinking of BusyCat?
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-16 12:33 PM
That's the forum name I thought.  Thank you.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-16 12:28 PM
I introduced some coworkers to the F* off fairy today :laugh:
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-16 12:29 PM
Awesome!! What did they think?
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-16 12:31 PM
they laughed and said it was a great idea. One lady was like let me guess yours arrived when you had a kid and I said yep, pretty much. She said she felt the same
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-16 2:44 PM
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-16 12:31 PM
The humor of the day... we have a voice activated clock in the living room, you say "Activate Clock" and it says "What can I do for you" then you can ask the time or the temp or whatever.  The workers are speaking Romanian, and something they say keeps activating the clock. :laugh:
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-16 3:02 PM
Well...FUBAR. Poor Dali-kitty went back to the vet today. She just continues to not do well, so we are getting another round of blood work now that all her other issues appear to have been fixed and the blood work may actually mean something this time. I am worried for her. I find I just automatically leap to the worst possible assumption about what is going on with her...and it may be that she just needs thyroid meds or maybe some antacids and extra fluids to manage some kidney decline.

Trying to pursue an actively positive mindset here...not totally succeeding. And only realizing it because I have been working hard these last two months to pull out of a nosedive of negative fixations on XH, Ratbag and various family members. Sometimes I succeed and my head clears and I feel optimistic about my relationship with my family, and that feels good. I'm trying to hold onto that longer and longer each time. Call it "positivity intervals." They are still hard work; one presumes they get easier over time?
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-01-16 5:27 PM
Good thoughts for Dali.:hug: And for you too.:hug:
Parent - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-01-16 5:44 PM
Sending good thoughts for Dali :hug:
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-17 11:26 AM
Good thoughts for Dali! A lot of cats have thyroid issues. She has been checked for all possible parasites, right?

How old is she? I'm trying to remember what year you found her.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 4:33 PM
Dali is 7 years old; she turns 8 in May. So pretty young, still. And yes, she has been checked and treated for parasites. She may just have hit the wrong genetic jackpot, ya know?
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-01-16 5:26 PM
WTAF! That bird just flew in again. It did a whole round of the dining room, and came all the way into the living room before I noticed it and shooed it out, leaving a turd trail everywhere. And whatever this bird is eating turns bright green, purple and blue when you clean it up. And this time it's on carpet!!! We're going through a heatwave here, I can't close the windows and deck door.:cry:

This morning, ministicky's swim class got evacuated due to a floating turd. I'm noticing a trend to my day.

So how do you clean neon green bird poop from carpet?
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-01-16 5:35 PM

Blackbirds are smart. If he's come in twice now, chances are he will again. Can you hang some netting from the windows & door, or is mini still small enough that is a safety hazard? Otherwise look into having screens installed? Sorry!

No idea on the neon green poo. :cry:
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-01-17 2:28 AM
I'm pretty sure it's the same blackbird that's been eating our strawberries, through the netting...
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-16 9:14 PM
Cheer up.   Maybe this is a different bird. :grin:  You could get a big kakapo to chase the bird away.

I used Arm & Hammer plus Oxi Clean Pet Stain & Odor Remover for dog-related messes.  Including the red wine on white carpet spill that was caused by the dog.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-17 8:52 AM
I think it's time to admit that it's not just the seagulls who are out to get you...
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-17 12:26 PM
:laugh:  I forgot about that!
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-17 10:12 AM
But at least it wasn't a seagull, right? :wink::laugh:

Uh...are screens a thing in your area? Maybe even just a scrim of loose weave fabric hung over the window?
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-17 11:29 AM
You are describing Iota's and Hrhiow's dream come true. A bird flying through the house!

Ugh on the turd trail. Carpet cleaner, and if it doesn't work then try calling the number on the container. The Woolite carpet cleaner hotline was very helpful with suggestions when DD, about ministicky's age, took a permanent felt tip marker to the light beige carpet.

No window screens?

And also yuck on the torpedo in the pool.
Parent - - By Gunna [is] Date 2018-01-17 6:52 AM
Home safe and sound from Tenerife. Although there was a few hours' delay due to the weather here. Back to work and everything. At least it's getting a little lighter. :cool: I'm curious to see how I'll do in the next few weeks, i.e. physically, after the trip. There's a lot of flues and stuff going around.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-17 4:31 PM
Stay well!
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-17 8:51 AM
I got my door in yesterday.  I posted pics on FB, but not sure how to share them with non-FB people.  Overall it went ok, but it's a lot of work.  I need to finish the exterior trim, but the door is in and weather-tight, which is the important thing given that it's currently 18*F and snowy.  I don't think I'll be changing out the back door today. :laugh:  I am tired.  Mom hasn't been feeling up to cooking much, so I had to quit in time to start supper, then found out while I was cooking that we were going to have two unexpected dinner guests.  That actually wasn't a huge deal because I already had a pound of black eyed peas cooking and making extra rice doesn't require any more effort.

I had planned to take today off from working to run errands and stuff, but now we have snow (I haven't been out, but I think it may have an icy base because it started as rain) so I'm fairly sure most places are closed.  Oh well.  I guess I can use today to catch up on some of the cleaning that has been neglected over the past couple of weeks.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-17 10:15 AM
The door looked great in the photos, Swandive!
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-17 10:14 AM
Dali perked up a lot with the subcutaneous bolus of fluid yesterday. She has been asking for more water, and while she hasn't been eating a ton, she has been eating more than previously. I have given her wet food with extra water mixed in, and she has been lapping all the liquid out of it...basically drinking broth...and eating some of the meat. Her energy level is noticeably higher.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-17 11:31 AM
Glad to hear it! So it may have been simple dehydration? Good idea on the wet food with extra water.

Do you have a bowl of water out? Our cats prefer to drink from the kitty fountain which is constantly circulating and filtering the water. Gwen would actually like to drink from the tap exclusively but I'm not leaving that running all the time.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 12:38 PM
:hug: MadCat had something like that once. She rebounded and lived for about 5 more years.
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-17 3:51 PM
:hug: C'mon kitty.  Eat up.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-01-17 11:29 AM
I hate winter.

I live in the south for no winter.

This crap can go away now.

I'm just a ball of happiness today.  They've already called of school for tomorrow too.  Kill me now.

I about lost my patience with some of my employees yesterday.  We have a pretty liberal work from home policy.  We have a very conservative office open/closed decision making process.  We all anticipated the office would be closed.  I had to have too many conversations yesterday that went something like "If it's not safe for you to come in, work from home.  If you aren't sure, work from home.  If you need to take care of your kids, either work from home if you can or take a PTO day if you can't.  If you can get to the office safely, feel free to do so but realize you'll be mostly alone because most folks will be working from home."  One dude CALLED me this morning to ask what he should do.  Took everything I had to not say "go back to bed and call me back when you've regained your brain."
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-17 11:31 AM
Excuse me, dude, you have dialed the wrong number. I am your boss, NOT YOUR MOTHER.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 12:37 PM
is he at least a new employee, who is timid about if you mean what you say?
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2018-01-17 1:28 PM
Nope.  He's a seasoned employee that likes his hand held.  Not his momma.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 1:55 PM
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-01-17 12:25 PM
Roolet won his match! :grin: :hug: He was very excited (okay, we were all thrilled).  Today's paper listed him as the loser of the match.  :meh:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 12:31 PM
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2018-01-17 1:52 PM
That is such my typical luck :cry:.  Sorry for the error but congrats to Roolet!
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-01-18 8:46 PM
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 12:35 PM
They started painting the bathroom yesterday.  We chose a lovely deep lavender color with some gray in it. It will go nicely with our dark blue/slate tiles. When they put it on the walls it looks PINK!!  Both of us are really unsure.  But, with three coats I think the color will deepen.
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-01-17 3:25 PM
:cry:  From experience, you can't tell until it dries.  I would have them stop painting, and then do tests of 3 coats in various locations so you know before they paint the entire room.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 4:05 PM
I looked at the darkest place this morning and liked the color a lot more. Plus, it will change with the new lighting and the dark flooring put in.
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-01-17 8:14 PM
Oh, good!  What a relief!
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-17 1:04 PM
My therapist mentioned EMDR therapy. Has anyone ever done this kind?
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2018-01-17 1:49 PM
Do you have PTSD? I know they use it for that but am not sure if it's used in other applications.
Parent - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-17 1:54 PM
she said it was originally used for veteran's with PSTD and now is used with people for similar anxieties related to either traumas or stressful situations. So for me I have anxiety from the way my H acted with the baby in the past and have trouble not dreading certain situations so she suggested it might be an option to try
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 1:58 PM
My understanding is that you can do it for any trauma, including those that were over time, not just one event- such as having an abusive parent, in addition to a horrible day in a war zone.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 1:57 PM
I know it is evidence based and considered very helpful.  I have a friend who said it changed her life.  I tried it once, but I don't think I picked a traumatic enough experience to see a result in the way one might. I picked  something that puts me at about a 4 on a 10 pt scale. I think you need something 8 or higher. I could see going into something more traumatic, when I have a higher level of trust with my therapist.

It has almost no drawbacks.
Parent - - By kelly_v Date 2018-01-17 2:10 PM
that's kind of what I was wondering, that you need a more traumatic experience. I am opening to trying it though
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-17 2:14 PM
I realized after I did it that the experience I used was traumatic, in part, due to earlier more traumatic experiences that I'm not yet ready to dive into. When I am, I'll do it again with those experiences.
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-01-18 9:56 AM
Rough 24 hours here :cry: I kicked the corner of the wall yesterday when running down the stairs, throbbing pain for awhile, lost the nail next to the toe I hit (it was needing to fall off), now the toe I hit is all bruised. This morning I exploded the gel inserts for my mittens in the microwave (they are meant to microwave) this is the 2nd time it has happened and I'm following the directions, then broke my headlamp changing the batteries this morning as I headed out to run. Toe wasn't bad on run but hurts out of shoes. Get through the next 3 days then we leave for Mexico with my missing toenails and bruised foot, pretty : pbbt::laugh:

The good news, I accepted to job I mentioned a few weeks ago, they agreed to my schedule of 2 days in office and 1-2 day at home per week, yay! So to celebrate I'm going to look at cameras, haven't decided if I want an entirely new camera or just a couple new lenses. Then lunch with my college friend :grin:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-18 11:04 AM
Miserable on the kicking the wall. I would complain about the gel inserts to the manufacturer.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-01-18 11:31 AM
Youch on those - not the way to go, esp. with the frustrating gel inserts and painful toes (given too that pain makes all the other annoyance worse). Hooray on the acceptance of your proposed schedule though!
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 2:05 PM
Oy...this is the week for small annoyances, huh? :shocker!:
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-18 12:17 PM
I'm working on a revision of a document that is making me angry. I don't mind revising the document, as it is part of my job, but the comments that the other person put in, are aggressive and seem to work to point out the flaws in the document, rather than providing solutions.  I'm probably extra sensitive because the last meeting I had with her about this topic involved her yelling at me in front of 4 deans and accusing me of not doing my job. The comments in this document seem to be promoting the idea that i"m not doing my job while not offering ANY feedback on how to get the information that she seems to have in her head, that predates my time here, and that she is looking for documentation on. Oy, back to trying to focus on this document.:meh:
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 2:20 PM
T-bone let slip yesterday that Eldest Daughter's mom has been buying junk food for her to take to our house and keep in her room, because Eldest has reported to her mom that I am a health food nut and there are no good snacks in the house.

Feeling a little attacked on that front, because...there is a ton of food and plenty of snacks in this house. But what Eldest means is that she prefers to live off refined carbs (pretzels, Cheezits, crackers, bread, tortilla chips), candy and soda, and while she has some options for those things here, she does not have unlimited options. And she is encouraged to eat healthy snacks, and required to eat veggies at dinner, neither of which happens at her mom's house. Her mom, whom I will point out ALSO prefers to live off carbs and meat only, and who is diabetic.

The notion that following a moderate, well-rounded omnivorous diet makes me a "health food nut" is kind of depressing.
Parent - - By SRoo Date 2018-01-18 2:40 PM
Try to let that one slide off your back.  I think step-parenting is a delicate balance.   Continue to be a good example.  If the kid has a stash of crap food in her room, well, it's not the end of the world.  She's not going to make good decisions all of the time, but having access to healthier food will increase the odds. 

Are there other kids?  You refer to her as eldest, but never mention youngers.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 4:23 PM
Yep. She will make her own eating choices in college and later on. There is not a lot I can do to change her habits except set a different example than what she has seen before. We are making headway with eating family meals at the table every night, at least. Her table manners and ability to make conversation are getting much better, and that will serve her well later.

She has a younger sister who does not stay with us. She got miffed last year that her dad was actually enforcing rules of behavior in his house, and decided to stay full-time instead with her mom, who doesn't enforce any at all. /facepalm
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-18 6:25 PM
Sounds reasonable.  :hug:  Families are hard.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 1:45 PM
Not surprising that Younger Daughter wants to be where she can get away with whatever she wants. Tough on the noncustodial parent, though.
Parent - By ironjen Date 2018-01-19 4:35 PM
How is that allowed? Do they not have a custody agreement (of which I am SURE Tbone is paying support to the ex for the kids and whatnot)? Does he see the younger one at all?
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-18 3:17 PM
I agree with SRoo on this one.  Step-parenting is hard and this is a fight you're unlikely to win.  Keep being a good example, but policing the food she brings into the home isn't going to turn out well.  The daughter probably realizes she can play mom against stepmom and get to have whatever she wants to eat.

But {sigh}.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 4:28 PM
Oh, I am not policing anything. She can have whatever her mom sends her and all I care about is that she doesn't leave crumbs or trash in her room. She is 18 years old; I'm not going to get into a running battle of what she can or can't eat, ya know?

Just sighing a little over it.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 1:37 PM
I would agree with you -- don't police, unless there are problems that result from food in the room. Like rodents or insects.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-18 3:48 PM
Yep, not your monkeys.  She's got years of eating habit modeling behind her and is approaching adulthood. Time for her to make her own food decisions. And judging someone's eating has never caused them to eat in more healthy ways, in fact, research shows the opposite. You don't want her to hide food from anyone, tell her to keep her stash in the cabinet and eat it in the open.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 4:30 PM

We addressed the stash and set the ground rule that she can keep food in her room; she just has to keep it contained, and make sure any trash or crumbs are cleaned up. (This has to do with her carrying her stuff back and forth between houses; by choice, she keeps a lot of things in her room rather than in our common areas.)
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-19 11:26 AM Dali's bloodwork back from our vet. She definitely has chronic renal failure, and the numbers ain't pretty. She is going to be losing protein and muscle mass continuously at this point no matter what we do. She is in a fragile enough state that that we are just playing a waiting game now, but as Rocker pointed out earlier this week, there are things that can be done to help support a cat's kidney function, and Dali perked up quite a lot just from getting a bolus of subcutaneous fluid.

We will probably be euthanizing her eventually, but as long as we can keep her feeling relatively perky, eating and drinking, and showing some interest in life, we will do what we can for her. A bright spot right now is that she HAS perked up since the vet visit and has been eating and drinking more. I have been giving her wet food with extra warm water mixed in to make a kind of gravy, and it seems like it is hydrating her pretty well; and she has been hungry and asking for more several times a day. This morning, we could see she had groomed herself some, and that is also a good sign. I don't expect we will have a lot more time with her, frankly, but at least we will have *some*.
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-19 11:36 AM
I'm sorry. :sad::hug: I am glad you at least have a bit more time with her and that she had perked up some this week.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-19 12:11 PM
T-bone and I were both crying last night. It's hard confronting that we are going to lose her. I kept thinking of that race when I found her dumped on the side of the road with her siblings, and scooping her up and carrying her to the aid station...and realizing by the aid station that I had just adopted a kitten. :hug::hug::hug:
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-19 12:32 PM
I remember reading that story.  :hug:  She had a much different life because you scooped her up and loved her. :hug:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 1:43 PM
I remember. And that picture you posted of the little girl at the aid station who was obviously in a state of bliss since she had a kitten nestled on her lap.

She's not had that long but the life she's had has been good. Considering that if you and the other runners hadn't come along her life expectancy would have been measured in hours, and probably wouldn't have reached triple digits, she's a fortunate cat.
Parent - By skigirl Date 2018-01-19 1:43 PM
:hug:  The time is always too short, no matter how long we have them.
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2018-01-19 4:37 PM
It so hard. We went through that last month with Squirtle :sad: Hugs to you and Dali :hug:
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-19 5:32 PM
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-19 5:32 PM
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-01-19 5:23 PM
I remember that. :hug:  Best race swag ever! :laugh::hug:
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-01-19 11:50 AM
:sad: I'm so sorry Zipper. I am glad you are able to comfort Dali at least somewhat and she has had a boost from the subcutaneous fluid.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-01-19 12:16 PM
I'm sorry :sad::hug:
FWIW we went through this with our first cat many years ago and he did well on subcutaneous fluids for about a year, acted almost normal, eating, running around, etc.
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-01-19 1:07 PM
:sad::hug:  Poor trail kitty!  She's lucky you found her, though.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 1:40 PM
Oh, Dali. Poor girl. However, as long as she's eating and drinking and likes her life I would say let her have the foods she wants. Grooming is definitely a good sign.

The only issue with feeding her wet food with extra water/gravy is that the other cats are likely to figure out quickly that as soon as Dali walks away from the food dish they can rush in and hoover up what's left. Iota is still looking for wet breakfast because we'd give Fernanda wet food in the morning and put down a decoy bowl with a little in it for the others to fight over while Fernanda ate her meal.
Parent - By stickywicket Date 2018-01-19 1:54 PM
Very sorry about he news, Zip. She is a lucky cat to have been found by you. :hug:
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-19 4:52 PM
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-19 5:06 PM
Thanks for finding that thread.  :happy:  Such a lucky little cat.
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-01-19 5:26 PM
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-20 10:43 PM
Reading that thread makes me a bit sad because so many of those people are no longer active on this forum. I miss them.
Parent - By runnertype [us] Date 2018-01-20 8:09 PM
So sorry to hear this. I agree with the others; you have given her a good life.:hug:
Parent - - By swandive Date 2018-01-19 5:44 PM
Trying to stay on the not-over side of whelmed.  I got most of the reframing of the bathroom done today.  Hey, it's a start on putting things back together!  There's some I can't do until plumbing/electrical/HVAC is moved, but I'm making progress.  The question is what to do this weekend.  Ideally I'd do a long run tomorrow morning then do some more work and/or run errands tomorrow afternoon, then replace the back door on Sunday.  The problem with that plan is that my parents have church at their house on Sunday mornings.  I think that my tearing out a door in a room where people are having church would be considered a nuisance. :blush:  If I wait until after church, it's going to be cutting it close to get the door in because the front door took close to 7 hours.  I could wait until Monday to do the door, but it's supposed to be raining by Monday afternoon.  And they might be coming to pick up the dumpster as early as Monday...  So, I'm trying to figure out if I should go ahead and run tomorrow and work like hell Sunday afternoon on the door or if I should make door replacement a priority tomorrow and push everything else back to Sunday.
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-01-19 7:21 PM
Can you work tomorrow morning and the do your long run Sunday morning while your parents are having their church service?
Parent - By swandive Date 2018-01-19 7:32 PM
I'm considering doing that, but I'm tired and a long run sounds less tiring than replacing a door. :laugh:  I'm also considering doing a long run then replacing the door because that would clearly be the most exhausting possibility, but it would get all of the things done so i could work on getting more stuff into the dumpster on Sunday.
- - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-18 11:07 AM
Question for everyone. Regarding garbage. If you live in a place where you have to bring the can(s) to the curb for collection, whose job is it? Who reminds who?

I am a little annoyed because I came home at 9:30 last night and both DS and DD had gone to bed without taking the trash cans to the curb. I know Monday was a holiday but it was not a major holiday and the trash company didn't delay pickup a day. Thursday is our normal day. So I took out the recyclables and hauled the trash and the recycling bin down the driveway. :mutmad: I do not think that it should be my job when I have been at work and then teaching class all day. Nor should I have to keep track of the days for the other adults in the house. DSBF had been at work all day so I'm not including him in my miffed feelings.
Parent - By moonglow9 Date 2018-01-18 11:30 AM
I am the only option, so bins are my responsibility. When with my family, my mum or I do bin duty, depending on who is busy or working late that night - my father would let the stuff pile up I think, not seeing the problem or not remembering which is bin day.
In your situation, I'd agree that you should well be a bit miffed. As there was no change to your normal schedule, and your DD and DS have both lived there long enough to know when that day is, and to see that if not done the stuff will fester the whole of the next week, and given their ages, taking a bit of time to take the bins down seems perfectly reasonable of an expectation.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2018-01-18 11:36 AM
Taking out the garbage is my most dreaded chore, so it is MCF's responsibility unless he specifically asks me to do it because he can't.  it seems that assigning chores to individuals would help mitigate the miffed feelings.
Parent - - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-01-18 12:16 PM
having an assigned person who's job it is every time seems to work best in our house.

I do chores A, B, C
DH does chores D, E, F

Trash is his job.  If he forgets, well, we sit with trash in the apartment for an extra few days, it's stinky and miserable, and he's less likely to forget the following week. : pbbt:

No matter if I work 40 or 90 hours a week, laundry is my chore.  Ditto for him on trash.
Parent - - By stickywicket Date 2018-01-19 2:47 PM
What happens if DH is working 90 hrs a week and can't get to laundry and you really need a pair of pants from the pile?
Parent - By BoredTemp [us] Date 2018-01-20 4:47 PM
If laundry is DH’s chore,  then he has to get it done or ask for help.  Nothing wrong g with asking for help.  What’s wrong is expecting it without asking.
Parent - - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-18 2:05 PM
Oof. You have good reason to be miffed. I think BoredTemp has the right of it: the responsibility for the trash needs to be assigned to DD or DS, and it has to be his or her job to ensure it gets taken out...which includes reminding someone else to do it if he/she won't be home.

There also ought to be a consequence as well, which is that the person responsible has to take trash to the community dump in his/her vehicle if he/she misses collection day. Or else pays you back for what you pay for collection each week.
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 1:46 PM
The community dump charges $40 per vehicle entry.

The trash service is $66/quarter, which works out to, what, $5/week. That's a possibility but I don't want to take the chance that someone will proffer $5 and figure that gets him/her off the hook.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2018-01-20 5:32 PM
Hmmm. There is that loophole. But if the point is that they need to get the trash out of the house and into the dump, then the responsibility has to be defined as "you can take the trash to the curb as scheduled, OR drive it to dump and the $40 fee is your responsibility."

Pretty sure I know which they'd choose consistently...:grin:
Parent - By SRoo Date 2018-01-18 2:41 PM
The lad is supposed to do it, but he needs to be reminded every week.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2018-01-18 3:35 PM
DH does it, no reminder since neighbor always gets his out afternoon before so that's the reminder!
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-01-18 4:20 PM
It's my job, as we each have our chores assigned.  I agree that you need to assign someone this chore.  I care deeply for some reason, especially about the recycling.  But when I couldn't do things, DH did it all.
Parent - By NotSoFast [ca] Date 2018-01-19 4:35 PM
First one home. Not that hard. Although it is kind of Gavins "job" so I do make him do it.
Parent - - By Buggy [us] Date 2018-01-19 7:23 PM
Whoever remembers it's garbage day the next morning and notices the garbage isn't out at the curb. So, yeah .... 9 times out of 10 that's me :meh:
Parent - - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-19 10:39 PM
Me too. Especially since I often have class Wednesday night and I am pulling into the driveway and see the bins aren't out.

"Guys? What night is it?"


then a small voice:
"Oh, shit."
Parent - - By tritri Date 2018-01-20 10:29 AM
Do they have smartphones?  There is an app called Alarmed that they can use to set reoccurring alarms for things.  Like every 2 weeks, replace contacts.  Recycling every 2 weeks on Sunday night.  Pick up Poo!  I use this so many things.  Then I don't have to wonder if it is recycling week or not.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2018-01-21 11:09 AM
I sometimes wonder how previous generations kept track of everything without technology - some had specific schedules: baking day, market day, post office day, etc. and the chores centered around those habits, but my schedule is never than fixed & changes often with < 24 hours notice.

Every time some discussion like this comes up, I lament that I need a stay-at-home-wife to do all this stuff. : pbbt:
Parent - By tritri Date 2018-01-22 8:52 AM
I think people are way busier than in the past.  And we all used to have kitchen wall calendars.  And people were home more, so they saw the schedule.  And there was just remembering...  I used to do the contacts on payday.  But I like this better as I set it to alarm 2 weeks after completed.  So if I need new contacts earlier than expected, the schedule changes automatically.  Full time help would be great.  :grin:
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2018-01-31 12:06 PM
I agree, they are busy, but yes they all have smartphones (for which I pay!) so I sent them a group text reminding them about trash. And low-tech reminder as well: note on the whiteboard in the kitchen.
Parent - By runnertype [us] Date 2018-01-20 8:09 PM
That's so annoying. I'm sorry. I hate how self-centered that age group can be sometimes.
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