Byadamswims (Gone Now Adam! You pick what you want.)
Date 2017-11-14 8:03 PM
Tell us a "Dad" Joke. Doesn't have to be good because...well..."Dad" jokes generally aren't.
How do you tell the difference between and alligator and a crocodile?
One will see you later and one will see you after a while.
Byjaszflamus (I like wool!)
Date 2017-11-14 9:57 PM
Yeah that's bad.
Not really a joke, but I always sang out loudly "Don't call me daughter, because I'm your son" whenever the Pearl Jam song came on while driving. Wife and son used to laugh hysterically along with me until the kid finally said, "Dad, it's not funny any more." I still do it, though. And my son is 30yo.
ok a real dad joke: Why didn't the tomato win the race? Because it couldn't ketchup.
That's my favorite Pearl Jam song It's about a girl with a learning disability that gets misunderstood by her parents for not being able to live up to their standards and gets abused.
Byjaszflamus (I like wool!)
Date 2017-11-16 6:02 PM
Yeah, it's a pretty serious and moving song, and a really good one. Except how I mess it up with my dad joke.
How do you get down from an elephant ? You don't; you get down from a duck.
Byinsistor (needs a bigger dick)
Date 2017-11-15 9:37 AM
What did the excited gardener do when spring finally came? Wet his plants
What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies
What do you call a man who never toots in public? A private tutor
ByThe Beard (is wearing Arm Panties) Date 2017-11-16 9:09 AM
Last weekend my son and I were walking into the stadium and I said, "I'm going to hit the bathroom before we go to our seats." He replied, "Why? What's it ever done to you?"
#proud
Byjaszflamus (I like wool!)
Date 2017-11-16 6:20 PM
ByThe Beard (is wearing Arm Panties) Date 2017-11-16 9:36 AM
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
ByIBDate 2017-11-25 12:51 AM
Edited 2017-11-25 12:56 AM
So after reading this joke quite a number of times here on the forum I was able to utilize it in 'real life'. The first time I did so was a rather flat version of the joke. Then I realized that the way to tell the joke needed emphasis:
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before[/i} it was cool.
Everybody loved it.
*** So I'm drunk and can't figure out how to make that "before" correct, honey badger don't give a shit.
The Buddhist gave the hotdog vendor a $5 bill for the $3 hotdog. When the vendor returned no change, the Buddhist queried "Were is my change?" to which the vendor replied "Change comes from within".